Verne Gay Verne Gay

Gay is the television critic.

Kris Jenner's new talk show, "Kris," bowed Monday and as expected, it was awful.

But enough about the show: What about the baby?

In the closing seconds of this new syndicated show -- which is getting a six-week tryout on Fox stations this summer -- Jenner took leave of co-host Cameron Mathison to go backstage, then emerged seconds later with a tiny bundle in her arms. The studio audience held its breath -- someone gasped, someone else squealed -- or maybe that was just Mathison.

(Could it be? Was it possible? Is it, is it?)

No, it wasn't. The world did not get a first look at her daughter Kim Kardashian and boyfriend Kanye West's baby, North, but instead got a good look at the child of the host's hair and makeup person, who was in on the stunt.

"Oh no, no, no, no, I couldn't do that to Kim. That would be kidnapping," her mother explained, puckishly. "I get asked all the time 'when are you going to show the new baby' [but] let her have her privacy."

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Privacy, of course, is something the Kardashians relinquished years ago.

Jenner proved Monday that there is no subject that she's quite as conversant in as . . . herself and her family. Despite a few segments not specifically Kardashian-related -- Twinkies, belly dancing, glow-in-the-dark lingerie -- the host always seemed to circle back to the most important subject in the world.

Maybe this is what viewers want. But on the off-chance Jenner doesn't want to turn "Kris" into just another cynical promotional opportunity, perhaps it's best to start looking to other topics.