Summer 2015 is about to get a lot more #basic.
"There's a little bit of white girl in all of us," said Josh Ostrovsky, also known as social media personality The Fat Jew. "It's not a race thing."
White girl or not, Ostrovsky and the two white men behind Twitter personality Babe Walker (@WhiteGirlProblems) have collaborated on the much buzzed about White Girl Rose, a pink blend of Northern California grapes originally marketed at stopping summer 2014's alleged Hamptons rose shortage.
Wearing a kelly green FreshDirect sweatshirt, patterned navy shorts, a blingy golden Hebrew "chai' necklace and his signature vertical ponytail, Ostrovsky observes a crowd enjoying his soon-to-be-released rose at a swanky West Village apartment on Tuesday afternoon.
A spread of bites at the soiree, including Daniel Boulud's smoked salmon, charcuterie and plenty of imported cheeses are aimed to highlight the sweetness and lushness of the wine.
Ostrovsky picks a plump slice of prosciutto from the platter.
"White Girl Rose goes with everything and I mean everything," he said. "Cool Ranch Doritos or the finest imported prosciutto." Orzo or queso. Whatever. The co-creator of the wine suggests perhaps substituting this "brose" as milk in cereal or heading to a Ren Faire to pair it with a giant turkey leg.
"The target demographic is hunky men, followed by white girls," he said. "The only person who shouldn't drink this is babies."
Ostrovsky's Instagram-famous dog, Toast, however, is "perfectly legal because it's dog years." Hovering between the ages of 48-65, Toast has gone "full diva" and reportedly doesn't drink tap water.
"Toast is a full nightmare celebutante," said her owner.
Cuteness of rose for babes and dogs aside, Ostrovsky's main goal in the project is to bring a steady flow of pink happiness to rose lovers, some of whom may be celebrities and/or housewives.
And everyone loves rose. "Congratulations on being a monster from outer space," said Ostrovsky to those who dislike pink wine. He also noted that "this is one of the best roses to throw in someone's face."
"I have plans for me, Kelly Bensimon and this rose," Ostrovsky said, hinting that a jacuzzi and some other [redacted] famous faces may be involved.
White Girl Rose is slated to launch via FreshDirect this month.
"We're big proponents about not having to go to stores and interact with humans," Ostrovsky said, rejoicing over the beauty of having wine delivered basically to your bed.
For those who feel lazy getting FreshDirect delivering their booze supply, Ostrovsky also recommends fully embracing the rose lifestyle, including drinking the wine after workouts. "It's v. refreshing!"
"Summer isn't over until you stop drinking rose," said Ostrovsky.
So before you put on any turtlenecks and return to hot toddies, stock up on a portion of the 24,000 bottles of White Girl Rose available this summer.