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Valoween: A badly needed makeover for a boring old holiday

BY JULIA ALLISON | Special to amNewYork

6:33 PM EST, February 5, 2006

I have to admit -- my past two Valentine's Day columns, seeped in saccharine optimism, weren't exactly crowd favorites.

"Overly sentimental," "Boring," "Way too preachy." And that was from my mother!

Valoween, on the other hand, was a huge hit.

Skeptical readers, tired of hokey tradition, loved my invented Halloween-Valentine's Day combination:

"I was in the 'bah humbug' camp, but have been swayed to the light. Valoween isn't brilliant. It's completely brilliant."

"I'm one of those single people that gets bitter around Valentine's Day. I call it 'Happy Hateday.' I even made red construction paper hearts with the words 'Love Sucks.' I was intrigued with 'Valoween' though.

Tell me more about this proposed alternative to the mushy holiday."

Uh, Happy Hateday? OK, psycho. Anyway, Valoween is a combination of the party-atmosphere and costumes of Halloween with the red/pink color scheme and sexiness of Valentine's Day. It's a replacement holiday for singles who want a celebration, not a boyfriend -- or couples who are sick of the dinner, roses, candy routine. After all, there's nothing better than playing dress-up to make a depressing holiday palatable -- even (gasp!) likable.

"This is what every single Valentiner needs! Halloween has turned into one of the most scandalous holidays for the young and trendy. Why shouldn't Valentine's Day hold that stigma? I'm in." Yes, I'm all about trying to give as many innocent holidays stigmas as possible. Next up? Easterween.

Valoween also appealed to the oxymoronic among us:

"As someone who has been shafted many times, I am also an eternal optimist. So despite the fact that I hate this holiday, I also embrace it."

What?

And to those who think too hard about everything:

"Halloween is supposed to be scary, and Valentine's Day is supposed to be fun. But in reality, it's the reverse. 'Valoween' is the true holiday of the modern relationship."

Readers wanted to know where they could join in the celebration:

"Where? When? What costume?"

You're in luck! I'll be hosting the First Annual Valoween Party on Tuesday, Feb. 14 at Marquee. Costumes? Anything pink or red will suffice -- or be creative -- how about a love doctor, cupid, queen of hearts, vampire or Mayor Bloomberg (very romantic).

After all, as one reader said, "Why settle for the old-fashioned mores of Valentine traditions, when you can re-invent it as Valoween? At first, people might think, 'You're nuts, Julia!' but who cares? It's the lunatics that make progress (and run the asylum)." Um, glad I could make you happy.

Of course, you can't please everyone:

"Valoween? That's what you came up with? Sounds like a venereal disease."

Julia expects to see all the Valentine's Day cynics at the First Annual Valoween Party. Wear a sexy costume, or else she won't help you get any.

For details, e-mail julia@juliaallison.com.