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Taking a break from the same-old

BY JULIA ALLISON | SPECIAL TO amNEWYORK

March 13, 2006

A month ago today, men all over the city were racking their brains for creative ways to woo their women (or at least not totally make them angry) on February 14th. Even if they made it through Valentine's Day unscathed, they're not off the hook; after all, men are always expected to coordinate the romance. They do the asking out, they plan and pay for the date, and eventually, they buy the ring and propose.

Like a culture that sells high heels to women but wants their men to be taller, putting males on solo romantic duty is both inane and unfair.

Although I've definitely reaped the benefits of the other gender bearing a disproportionate share of the romantic burden, I think it's time for a little role reversal as we fight the End-of-Winter-But-Not-Quite-Spring New York Romantic Blahs.

Women, tell your boyfriend/husband to pack an overnight bag, blindfold him, hop in a taxi and drive to the NYC hotel of your choice.

I did this recently with The Boyfriend, whom I took to a stunning hotel on a recent wintry evening. After a wine-soaked dinner at the in-hotel restaurant, I spirited him away to our plush room. Since he always pays and always plans, he practically cried from shock that I was actually treating HIM to something. I was very proud of myself. Now I don¹t have to do anything for him again until next Christmas.

Anyone who's organized "a little weekend away" knows that planning something special out of town can take a lot of effort and a lot of cash. But with one night at a NYC hotel, there are no plane tickets to purchase and no great distance to travel. It feels utterly luxurious like a real vacation but with none of the headaches. (Not to mention that hotel rooms are very conducive to rekindling that I-Want-To-Rip-All-Your-Clothes-Off-Right-NOW spark.)

Although at first the idea of "getting a room" in NY seemed strange--uh, we LIVE here already--now I can think of no better retreat from the chaos and chores and commotion of the everyday (and a little privacy from roommates one thin wall away).

In the end, romance for busy New Yorkers isn't about making one-half of the couple do all the work it's about balancing the duty to romance each other equitably. So women, you got your Valentine's Day. Now it's time to treat the men to an incredible end-of-winter mini-vacation--which has the added benefit of making him even more accountable for a stellar showing at NEXT year's February 14th. See? It all evens out.

Julia would be content to live in a hotel permanently, Lindsay-Lohan style. She just wants winter to be over. Email Julia@JuliaAllison.com.