Spilling the secret to meeting guys

By Julia Allison | Special to amNewYork

November 6, 2006

You know that one friend who whines constantly about her love life, repeatedly asks for your advice, and then invariably refuses to take it?

Alyssa Shelasky is not that friend.

Of course, that's because she's bound -- contractually -- to follow the advice of her friends, and by "friends" I mean anyone who reads her 3-month-old dating blog for Glamour magazine.

Simply titled "See Alyssa Date," it should really be called "Hear Alyssa Ruminate About Various Boys, Then Tell Her Whether She Gets to Sleep with Them or Not." But that might be a little lengthy.

Shelasky, a 29-year-old Massachusetts-raised Columbia grad and erstwhile US Weekly reporter, heard about the Glamour gig while going through a particularly difficult relationship crisis.

The "love of her life" told her he could never marry her because she wasn't Greek Orthodox, and she was at an impasse.

"First I was like, 'no way,' then I thought, no, I'm going to take the job, end the relationship, move to L.A., just start fresh," Shelasky said, "It was kind of a blessing."

The blessing requires the self-described "crazy outspoken" Shelasky to write five entries a week about her man-adventures. With a colloquial, confessional style, she doesn't disappoint.

There's "Greek Dentist," "Edgy English Teacher," "23-year-old," "Sexy Euro," "Jeremy Piven" (yes, the real one) and that's just one week. The woman gets dates like a female Hugh Hefner -- no Viagra needed.

"Meeting guys is easy for me," said Shelasky, who was voted class flirt in high school. Still, despite being an attractive, petite brunette, she's almost 30, lives in Los Angeles, and is not a model, actress or even a D-cup. How does she do it??

"Well, I've kicked it up a little," she admitted sheepishly. "I literally have to go in search of guys because I can't exactly write about the fact that my jeans feel tight." Hmm. Good point.

Having a job that forces you to meet men is a good start, but there's no denying that Shelasky really does know how to get a date. Her readers notice it too. "What's your secret?" they ask again and again.

"I just talk to them!" she explained. "I'm hardly perfect, but definitely friendly. I believe that guys, even grown men, are still afraid of girls, and just need a little coddling."

The men she meets aren't in clubs or bars ("Honestly, I hate going out," she insisted), but on the street, in grocery stores, at coffee shops, in her building.

"I will totally initiate conversation," she said to me over the phone. "And confidence is everything. If you meet a guy, just be your friendly, sweet warm self and any good guy will want more. That's my secret."

Hmm ... maybe this dating blogger doesn¹t need anyone's advice after all!"

Email Julia@JuliaAllison.com