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Finding a winner on Craig's List

BY JULIA ALLISON | Special to amNewYork

November 21, 2005

There was a time, not so long ago, when I scoffed at the prospect of dating on Craig's List. Of course, that was before a roguish reader of this column posted a personal ad for me in the "Women Seeking Men" section of CL last week.

The posting, cribbed from my Nov. 7th first date tips for guys, was cheekily entitled "I'm a Picky Bitch, So What?"

Apparently "picky bitches" intrigue men (who knew?) and my email inbox was flooded with responses, some sweet, some genuine, and a lot just bizarre.

Here are a few of the highlights from my favorites:

- "I am a little older than you, 43, but a young one. I have been told that I resemble Christian Slater but with less hair (slightly balding)." I just love when guys preface their 20 year age gap by explaining that they're a "young" fill-in-age. No. You just don't want to date women your own age, you jerk.

- "Work on wall st used to model. Look better in person." I'm confused. If you used to model, well, then, wouldn't you look better in photos?

-"I am 40 I have a new vespa. R u interested?" Um, only because of the Vespa, though. Not because you spell "are" with one letter.

- "You look like the athletic type maybe a martial arts background. Am I accurate?" First of all, how would you know that from a photo of my FACE? And, no. You're not accurate. Hailing a cab is exercise for me.

- "Beautiful meets handsome Can you picture yourself glued to my arm for an evening?" No but I can picture myself hiding in the bathroom from you.

- "I'm 220 lbs (mostly muscle)." Good to know. I'll need your body fat composition if you want to get serious, though.

One guy asked me to dinner, writing: "I know a kickass place with the best Sesame chicken on the planet, or we can Super Size it." YEAH, now we're talking romance! SUPER SIZE that Sesame Chicken BABY! Another fellow attached a picture of his (AND I QUOTE) "alter ego" Benjamin Franklin. Ummm what am I supposed to make of that?!?

One eager emailer actually gave me his P.O. box, like, just in case I wanted to send him a care package or something. Huh?? And then there was the guy who sent a photo of himself with A MACHINE GUN. Dear god.

Another fellow pasted his resume into the body of the text. As if that wasn't bad enough, it included (in the hobbies section!!) "long walks." I mean, seriously? Who puts that in their resume??

Finally, there was the man who attached a photo of himself in his office, with a giant Bloomberg terminal. Some guys show off their abs, others their cars. This guy was like "check out my Bloomberg terminal, baby, YEAHHH!"

Only in New York.

Julia's probably going to regret telling you this, but her email is Julia@juliaallison.com