Kathy Griffin and her D-List act come to Westbury

BY GLENN GAMBOA | glenn.gamboa@newsday.com

June 19, 2008

Kathy Griffin, as her stand-up act would suggest, wants lots of things. She wants a Grammy for her new album to go along with her Emmy. But most of all she wants an invitation to next year's White House Correspondents' Dinner. At least that's what she told us on a break from her current tour and promotional appearances for her Bravo series "My Life on the D-List," which airs Thursdays at 10 p.m.

Why are people so interested in celebrities that magazines pay millions of dollars to see pictures of their kids or Pete Wentz and Ashlee Simpson's wedding?

I don't know. Tell me why.

I don't know. You should know -- you're closer to that kind of stuff.

[Wentz and Simpson] were at the Correspondents' Dinner. Was there no doorman? They have to hire a normal bouncer [for the Correspondents' Dinner], and they have to bounce Pete Wentz and Ashlee Simpson and the Jonas Brothers.

When's the last time they read The New York Times?

Maybe that's the entrance exam. Ask them what the last newspaper they read was. Then how would they get in? You know it's The Star, maybe. If that's what the A-listers are doing, then, dammit, I'm going next year. I don't care if I have to tear tickets or sell concessions. I'm going.

I'll put that out there. I'm sure many people would want to take you.

Well, that's the thing. Who puts ["The Hills'"] Heidi and Spencer at their table? Scott McClellan probably didn't go because he couldn't get in. He was probably outside going, "I've got some pretty big news coming out of this book I'm doing," and people were saying, "Yeah, yeah. Move over, here comes Ashlee."

It's a crazy world. But it's working out well for you.

It's true. I am enjoying the dumbing-down of America.

Good. And you have so much to plug these days.

It's been very busy for me. To me, it's always like tax time for an accountant. Celebrities never stop. Mariah Carey with her child bride. Denise Richards with "It's Not That Complicated." I'm pretty busy.

Clay Aiken ... Is this fact or fiction?

I need to hear from Camp Clay. And I assume that Camp Clay is literally like that compound in Texas, where there are just Claymates dressed as prayer women, happily living and sustaining themselves with no help from the outside world. I'm perplexed by Clay being somebody's baby daddy. And if Clay's going to be someone's baby daddy, shouldn't he really be a baby daddy and have it be with someone like Foxy Brown? Is it his publicist or something?

No, it's supposed to be David Foster's sister.

Wait a minute. You buried the lead -- only because David Foster is one of the richest people in the world. And he's kind of secretly rich, like that Suzanne Somers, Jerry Springer rich, where you don't know that they're actually ready to take over the world. ... I've never said this about Clay, and I've said a lot of things about Clay, but I think he may be an old-school gold digger. I think Clay's gonna see a nice healthy paycheck at the end of this. ... Then he could officially date Ryan Seacrest, who is also secretly buying the world. Did you know that?

No, but he is working every job.

It's not enough that he's a harmless DJ, but -- I don't even want to say, I don't want to glorify it -- he also, I'm gonna say participates in " American Idol," that way he's on the same level as anyone who wants to text or call in. It's that he produces The Kardashians that I really find frightening.

And then there's the rumor that he's going to take over for Larry King.