Column: Needling Clemens. Imagined encounters between Brian McNamee and Roger Clemens

3/12/09
roger clemens
By Max J. Dickstein

Column: Needling Clemens. Imagined encounters between Brian McNamee and Roger Clemens

Photo credit: Game Face

Brian McNamee, left, accuses Roger Clemens of using steroids. Clemens denies it. (Getty Images)

By Max J. Dickstein

"Was this usually how it went?” we asked. “Get the drugs, lay them out and then Roger drops his drawers?”

“Yes, sometimes it was in his apartment,” McNamee went on. “Sometimes it was in the Jacuzzi at Yankee Stadium. Sometimes I injected him while he was on the road.”

— from an interview Brian McNamee gave to a Web site called SportsImproper.com

According to an interview conducted this week by a less-than-reputable Web site, Brian McNamee injected Roger Clemens with steroids in a number of settings. The ex-trainer’s claims led me to fabricate a few scenarios to appease my own imagination.

Feb. 13, 1998

Clemens: So you’re the new Toronto Blue Jays trainer I’ve heard about?

McNamee: I am. Brian McNamee. Call me Mac.

C: I just did a military-style workout of my own design. Really grueling. Jacuzzi time! But first, if you would be so kind ...

M: Hey, what are you — come on. Pull your pants back up, Roger.

C: Perhaps we’ve misunderstood each other. Since you’re a trainer, I thought you’d know what to do with this syringe.

M: OK, yeah, I know. Just let me keep the waste. In my basement.

Feb. 13, 2008

C: Mac, I know this is unexpected, but before I testify to the House Committee on Oversight and Government Reform that I never took steroids or HGH, and that you’re lying when you say I did, could we do one more for old times’ sake?

M: And ... there go the pants. “Unexpected” isn’t the word I would use, Roger. Still, I don’t see why I couldn’t help you out this one time.

C: Good. But this doesn’t change anything.

M: Right. My lips are sealed, as long as I have dibs on the trash.

Feb. 13, 2018

C: Brian friggin’ McNamee! How the heck are you, brother?

M: Rodge? Rodge! What brings you to Arby’s?

C: Ah, you know, looking for work. What are you doing here?

M: You’re looking at the general manager!

C: Wow, it is truly great to see you, Mac. Um ...

M: Uh-oh. Not the time or the place, Roger. Really.

C: Right here, right now, Mac.

M: Well ... OK. Dibs!
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roger clemens

Column: Needling Clemens. Imagined encounters between Brian McNamee and Roger Clemens

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