February 13, 2012
  • 3/26/08 By Elizabeth Nielsen

    Sweet 16 matchup previews based solely on each team’s nickname

    Photo credit: Game Face

    A Washington State cougar? (iStockPhoto)

    West Virginia Mountaineers vs. Xavier Musketeers

    7:10 p.m. Thursday

    Armed adversaries meet on the hardwood — a mountain man styled after Daniel Boone and an early modern infantryman. Since both assailants possess frustratingly inaccurate firearms, the finish might not come as quickly as one would think.

    Washington State Cougars vs. North Carolina Tar Heels

    7:27 pm Thursday

    North Carolina players will tar their heels for some dig-in defense but find themselves badly prepared to face a pride of cougars (aka pumas or mountain lions) with a taste for blood.

    Western Kentucky Hilltoppers vs. UCLA Bruins

    9:40 pm Thursday

    Hum dee dum, climbing some hills, munching some trail mix, encountering a ferocious brown bear — topping your last hill.

    Louisville Cardinals vs. Tennessee Volunteers

    9:57 pm Thursday

    Angry, yellow-beaked redbirds would seem to hold the edge over a team of caring do-gooders. Not so. Advantage Vols, who are named for the Tennesseans who selected themselves for service in the War of 1812.

    Davidson Wildcats vs. Wisconsin Badgers

    7:10 pm Friday

    An undomesticated cat and a tenacious, heavy-set weasel might be an even match in a fight. But why would they fight? Each carnivorous mammal prefers smaller prey.

    Stanford Cardinal vs. Texas Longhorns

    7:27 pm Friday

    What happens when a particular hue of the color red takes on an iconic, many-hued breed of Texas cattle? We’ll leave that to the realm of metaphysics — the study of the fundamental nature of reality.

    Kansas Jayhawks vs. Villanova Wildcats

    9:40 pm Friday

    The jayhawk is a mythical animal (noisy blue jay and stealthy hawk in one) invented to represent the 19th-century conflict between free-state and slave-state Kansans. (The free-staters prevailed.) A horrific storm of jayhawks would overwhelm a clutter of cats.

    Michigan State Spartans vs. Memphis Tigers

    9:57 pm Friday

    Accuse us of bloodlust, but we’d buy a ticket to watch a death match between warlike ancient Greeks and a disciplined team packed with representatives of the world’s most deadly beast.

    -Max Dickstein

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