Getting over a breakup is never easy … unless you’ve been cheating on your significant other for months on end and have lost any emotional connection to them, but in that case you’re not a good person. Don’t cheat.
It doesn’t matter if you’re the one doing the breaking up or the one who’s getting the bad news, when you’re with someone for an extended period of time, there’s always a void when they’re suddenly not there anymore. I was the former in my last relationship and it still took a toll on my daily life.
Luckily, there are ways to make dealing with a breakup easier.
For me, that “way” was a 30-year-old Brazilian girl in the laundry room of her apartment building. Backstory: Her family was visiting and apparently there were about a dozen of them scattered about her apartment, so the laundry room in the lobby was our only hope. Cross that one off the ol’ bucket list.
Laundry room sex might not be for everyone – apparently public displays of affection like that make people uncomfortable … and are also illegal.
After sitting on the bench for a few months or years, it might not be easy to get back into the game, but the more you play, the easier it gets. Practice makes perfect – words to live by when it comes to getting back in the dating game.
Dating apps like Tinder allow you to wash off some of the rust.
Hilary Duff even joined Tinder this week after her divorce from former NHL stiff and oft-injured Mike Comrie (I have the same amount of Stanley Cups as him and I’ve never played in the NHL). Hilary, if you’re reading this, hit me up for pizza.
Get on Tinder and talk to as many members of the opposite sex as possible. If you’re not ready for real face-to-face interaction, online dating is good for a little prep. Sometimes you need to prove to yourself that you can still flirt and have others be attracted to you before you really get back out there.
Once you feel like Stella (once you get your groove back), try and set up a date online. Or, if you feel like you’re already comfortable, go out to a bar with some friends and start hunting. “Hunting” probably isn’t the optimal word, but you know what I mean.
Tinder wasn’t around when I got out of my last relationship a few years back, and I kind of laughed at online dating back then, so I got thrown right back into the game with no practice.
Actually, I pulled a number and made out with a girl at a bar my first night as a single man. Then I found out that the 21-year-old I was making out with had a 2-year-old son at home, so I bailed immediately. Apparently I have a thing for moms – you’ll see what I mean next week in Fifty Shades of Hogan Vol. 3.
Anyway, when you’re finally out on a date or just talking to a prospect, it is absolutely vital that you do not mention your ex unless asked. It’s a pretty quick turn-off when you’re bringing up your ex every three seconds.
However, there is one exception to that previous rule. If you’re out with your friends and you’re all making a big deal that it’s your first night out as a single guy/girl in however long, then feel free to announce it. That type of situation is actually a turn-on and it helps bring in prospects. Everybody wants to help the rehabilitation process, trust me.
Bottom line: The quickest and easiest way to get over a broken heart is to surround yourself with as many members of the opposite sex as possible. Might seem tough at first, but you’d be surprised how well it works.
My advice? Don’t look for love with the next guy/girl you talk to and be open to anything. If you’re lucky, you end up in a laundry room and suddenly “What’s her name?” is a distant memory and you’ve got the greatest story of your life.
Head to amNY.com every Friday for Matthew's latest column, and check out amny.com/dating to see previous columns. To inquire about NYC dating advice, email him at firstname.lastname@example.org. Your question may appear in a future column, but no names will be used.