Before I start on this week’s advice, I’ve gotten several messages asking when I’m going to divulge my personal encounters on Tinder. Don’t worry readers. As many of my dates know, I’m not a tease. I’ll give you the juicy details soon enough.
In the meantime, let’s talk about what you should actually write in your profile.
Let me clear about something, if I haven’t been already in previous columns: I’m on Tinder for one-night stands and fun. If a potential Mrs. Hogan comes along on Tinder, then I’m open to changing my ways – but I’m not on there looking for her.
However, some of you are looking for something serious, and you’re in luck, because Tinder is evolving into a legitimate dating app where compatible relationships can actually begin.
The key to finding what you’re looking for is being honest in your profile. If you want something serious, then say that. The same goes for the opposite. You can deter a lot of wasted conversation just by being up front.
For example, my profile reads as follows: “I work out a lot … and I’ve been told I’m a douchebag."
That’s actually it.
“But why, Matt? No girl will ever talk to you!”
Quite the opposite. Girls, for some reason unbeknownst to me, are drawn to douchebags. Like the right bait on a hook, my profile attracts the type of girls I’m looking for, but I’m also being upfront right off the bat. There’s no false advertising.
That way, a couple weeks from now when I’m not returning text messages or phone calls, I can say, “I told you so.”
I often encounter the phrases “Not looking to hook up” or “Not DTF” written in women’s profiles. Those phrases really do work, for the most part. If you don’t know what DTF means, watch an old episode of "The Jersey Shore" – preferably season one.
A lot of the time I encounter someone’s Instagram handle in their profile. This is good, because it gives you another look at someone and what they’re actually into. Not a bad idea to include it in your profile.
While we’re on the subject, my Instagram handle is BulkHogan8 – my last name is Hogan, so that’d be my name if I were a porn star (I can dream).
Along those same lines, height seems to be a big deal on Tinder. I see a lot of women who list their height and it’s often one of the first questions I get asked. I personally don’t list mine – I’m 6-foot even – but it’s up to you. Eventually you’re going to have to meet and lifts can only help so much.
If you’re looking for something serious, then list your hobbies and interests. Don’t write your entire life’s story on there-- just basics. You only have 500 characters, which is more than enough, so write just enough to entice someone.
In NYC, you’re going to catch someone’s eye with similar interests, and then the sparks can really start to fly.
Be original, too. Nobody wants to read some secondhand quote from Paris Hilton because “she just gets you.” I read a lot of dumb quotes on there that simply tell me, “This woman is an airhead. You can probably sleep with her very easily.” And then I swipe right and begin messaging.
But seriously, I’ve been preaching honesty for the last couple of weeks and that’s a theme that isn’t going to change. You’re going to save yourself a lot of time, trouble and 3 a.m. drunken phone calls from angry dates screaming “I thought you were the one! Why didn’t you call me?!?”
Head to amNY.com every Friday for Matthew's latest column. To inquire about NYC dating advice, email him at firstname.lastname@example.org. Your question may appear in a future column, but no names will be used.