December 5, 2008
KISS AND TELL
Dating during unemployment
Getting a job when 80,000 are eliminated is challenging. Getting a date while prowling for that next paycheck is even more so.
What we 'do' becomes who we are, because when we¹re not doing anything, we¹re just, well, tired.
A banker hanging by a spreadsheet told me, "My eyes are burning and I¹m popping a Xanax because I don¹t want to think about tomorrow." As for dating? Well, forget about it.
But those who have already met the axe are experiencing a different burn:
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Insecurity.
Jobless for months, Jay, a 28-year-old investment banker from the Upper West Side, is struggling with dating. ³It¹s difficult to put my best self forward, since I am not impervious to my hyper-competitive surrounding,² he said. ³Explaining that I¹m plotting my next move sounds ambitious. But ...
I haven¹t been nearly as proactive in dating.² During my unemployed streak, I also shirked the occupation topic on dates.
Even though I was fervently hurling resumes, my dates were not impressed.
I received one of three responses:
A. Confusion
B. Condescension
C. Concern
And the 'What do you do?' segued to 'What do you all day?' as though they pictured a sedate drooler watching infomercials and pounding donuts. So hot.
But once I decided to obstinately stick with my career path, I booted the haters and decided to spend my days doing only that which I wanted. I became a yoga junkie, near-p.m. riser and a volunteer. So I didn¹t have a job per se, but I had ample responses to the snide ³What do you do all day?² in case the you-know-who¹s resurfaced.
How should you ease your anxiety during this paycheck lull? For starters, impress your date with a thorough explanation of this economic mess (Really, who is this FED?). Put your 'If-I didn¹t-have-to-work-wish-list' to, uh, work. It makes for great first date conversation. And if your date sneers, hand over the bill and rejoice that you identified and ditched the gold digger and its shovel.
If we¹ve learned anything as of late, it¹s that no job is safe from Recession¹s rage. So, give the economy that special finger, dive into the dating pool and swim with the employed fish.
Mixx it!
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