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Mack's new train of thought

Ellis Henican

June 22, 2008

This was dumb.

Dumb like Leona Helmsley saying, "Only the little people pay taxes." Dumb like George W. Bush high-fiving his Katrina-response czar: "Brownie, you're doing a heck of a job."

There's no other word for it. Just dumb.

David Mack, vice chairman of the Metropolitan Transportation Authority, the public agency responsible for the LIRR and pretty much everything that moves in and around New York, found a very odd place to make a public stand: Defending the free rides of past and present MTA board members.

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"Why should I ride [the LIRR] and inconvenience myself when I can ride in a car?" the week's most famous freeloader sniffed.

Mack doesn't need the ticket money. He's a billionaire real estate developer and hugely generous philanthropist. People who know him say he's actually quite a public-spirited guy.

So what got into David Mack?

Tone deafness, certainly. A lack of understanding of how certain things come off. A touch of arrogance, perhaps?

This isn't a first for Mack. It never is for these guys. The sense of entitlement simmers for years. This is a man, after all, who so appreciated his free E-ZPass bridge-and-tunnel tags, he had six of them on various vehicles. Hey, just because you're rich doesn't mean you can't be frugal!

When MTA chairman Dale Hemmerdinger, no dummy himself, proposed cutting back on the executive-suite free rides, no sensible board member would choose to defend a tradition so trivial, so elitist and so dumb. No sensible board member would.

Mack's apology, when it finally came, read like it was delivered at gunpoint with all the sincerity of a hostage video. "I regret that my comments Thursday did not reflect my commitment to the MTA and the work it does to provide the best public transportation system in the United States," he said.

"I plan to vote next week in support of changing our policies so that free passes for our transportation systems are used only by current board members who are on official MTA business."

There. Was that so hard? Would have been a whole lot easier just to pay for the rides.

LOWE-DOWN: Our old pal Ed Lowe has been fighting his way back from a stroke. The ex-Newsday columnist and LI raconteur has given his time and humor to hundreds of community groups over the years. Now some of Ed's friends and fans are gathering for a casual help-with-the-bills fundraiser. It's Tuesday night, 6:30, at Mulcahy's in Wantagh. Bands, raffles, adult beverages, $20. Checks to Ed Lowe Life Benefit, c/o Hibernians Division 4, P.O. Box 793, Huntington, N.Y. 11743.

DRESS FOR LESS: Here's the real fashion news from Michelle Obama's co-hosting gig on "The View:" That black-and-white leaf-print sleeveless number everyone's raving about now? Just $148. Come on, Jackie O never looked so good for so little.

ASKED AND UNANSWERED: When Southwest Airlines chief executive Gary Kelly said, "We're going to have to move fares along gradually and continuously," any chance he meant move 'em gradually and continuously DOWN? ... Now that Internet addiction is being described in the American Journal of Psychiatry as "a clinical disorder," which Long Island shrink will convene the first mouse-and-keyboard therapy group? ... Who put those fake $2.75-a-pack tax stamps on the cigarettes at the Ashirwood deli in Bellmore? Proprietor Sandeep Thapar is still acting clueless ... Re. Friday's "dramatic" Nissan chase from Newbridge Road to the Southern State to Merrick Avenue to Front Street and on and on: Has a car chase ever not been described as "dramatic"? Even OJ's slow-speeder got the "D" tag ... If more divorce trials were open to the public, like Christie Brinkley and Peter Cook's courthouse slam-fest, would fewer couples risk the public undressing of divorce? So when does Cook's 18-year-old assistant testify? ... Any insights on domestic-discord publicity from Shaniqua and Fitty? ... With his tedious "Love Guru," is the old Mike Myers magic finally gone? Oh, behave! ... How many more times does Suffolk Health Department spokeswoman Wendy Ladd have to repeat herself: Only certain types of uncooked tomatoes 'til the salmonella scare lets up? Obviously, one North Babylon man wasn't listening ... Have L.I. drivers been texting state Sen. Carl Marcellino to express their opposition (or support) for his no-texting-behind-the-wheel idea? ... He was a saint and I'm a horrible person for even asking this: But maybe, just maybe, is it time to wrap the Russert tributes?

Contact Ellis Henican at ellis@henican.com.

DID I SAY THAT?

1 Ivana Trump: "Fiction writing is great. You can make up almost anything."

2 Sen. Larry Craig: "Thank you all very much for coming out today."

3 Paris Hilton: "People don't know the real me. In 'The Simple Life,' I played a dumb blonde, but it's not really me."

4 Rep. Dennis Kucinich: "It was an unidentified flying object, OK? It's, like, it's unidentified."

5 Coach Chuck Knox: "Most of my cliches aren't original."