Enjoying your morning? Savor that coffee, and maybe add an extra bagel or chocolate doughnut while you're at it. Because today, Oct. 7, is Judgment Day: The end of the world!
At least according to the eBible Fellowship, an online Bible study broadcast group. The group believes Judgment Day is a period that began May 21, 2011, lasted for 1,600 days and ends with a fiery outpouring of God's wrath today.
That's not all. Controversial financial forecasters Larry Edelson and Martin Armstrong, who predicted the 1987 market crash, claim the biggest worldwide government economic meltdown will be this week.
Doesn't it figure that when the Mets finally win the pennant, the world will collapse two days before their first playoff game?
Ordinarily I'd scoff at such extreme predictions, and yes, these aren't the most mainstream sources. But lately, there have been too many ominous signs for even a skeptic like me to ignore. For example, have you watched the presidential debates? As Stephen Colbert said when introducing Donald Trump, "Someday I may be able to tell my grandkids that I interviewed the last president of the United States."
Things that were unimaginable not long ago are actually happening. While hell hasn't frozen over, the ice caps are melting and sea levels are rising. Will NYC soon be submerged? The 10 hottest years in the 134-year historical record have all occurred since 1998, according to NASA. Meanwhile, science-denying politicians continue to laugh off climate change.
Many in Congress childishly threaten to shut down the government if they don't get their way, while in New York, our governor and mayor barely speak to each other. Globally, the Middle East remains a powder keg as hundreds of thousands of refugees pour into Europe and threaten its stability.
But it's not all bad news. Scientists have found liquid water on Mars, which may provide us a place to escape. Coincidence? Perhaps.
So will the world end today? Unlikely. If it doesn't, maybe it's time we remove warmongers, science deniers and other political whackos from power. But if it does? Dunkin' Donuts lady, make that a Dunkaccino and three chocolate Boston Kremes -- to go.
Playwright Mike Vogel blogs at newyorkgritty.net.