Grading the election
By Meg Boyle
Because it's never too late to reminisce.
Grading the Election
(Yes! The Whole Thing!)
Demerit: Super Delegates
Go ahead, America, vote your conscience. If we dont agree with you, we can just hand the nomination to another candidate. After all, we know better than you do about these things. Were Democrats.
Gold Star: Huckabee Plays the Bass
In a band called Capitol Offense. Amazing.
Sir, I know Iowa is cold in the winter. No, youre right, Florida is much warmer. Sunnier, too, yes. No, I get it, really. But couldnt we no? Um, sir, youre going to have to campaign in more than one state. What was that? I missed a spot? Oh, sorry! Can we have an aide get me more suntan lotion?Gold Star: Tim Russert
Sunday mornings will never be the same.
Demerit: You know hes Muslim, right?
Ah, to live in a country where its still OK to hate someone for a religion he doesnt even practice.
Gold Star: Rachel Maddow
Dr. Maddow, if youre nasty. Witty and super-smart, Maddow is the only thing worth watching on MSNBC. And she reads comic books. Come on, now, thats just awesome.
Demerit: Crazy Preachers Run Amok
Obamas pastor hates America, McCain sought the endorsement of a pastor who hates (make that really, really hates) Catholics and gays, and way over in Wasilla, Sarah Palin had a pastor pray over her to protect her from witchcraft. Thank goodness for the separation of church and state.
Gold Star: Saturday Night Live
The real winner of the election.
Demerit: TTYL, BRACK
Its 5:15 a.m. and youre safe and asleep. But theres a cell phone on your dresser and its vibrating Seriously, which is worse: The cold-sweat fear that your crazy ex-boyfriend is drunk-texting you or the discovery that its actually Barack Obama texting you to let you know that he chose Joe Biden to be his VP? Damn, Barry, its 5:15 a.m. I need my beauty sleep! (No comments, people.)
Demerit: Steve Schmidt
Rove-ism is dead, my man. Didnt you get the memo?
Demerit: The Park Slope Conservative
Who never posted the comments I wrote in response to his post in early September that referenced my post about Sarah Palin (did you follow that?). To his credit, the PSC stopped blogging around the end of September. Just about the same time that Obama took the lead. Hmm
Gold Star: Nate Silver
Inching ever closer to replacing Chuck Todd as my nerd crush. Is there anything cuter than a boy compulsively slaving over numbers?
Demerit: Sarah Palin
What a joke.
Demerit: Throwing Palin Under the Bus
Diva. Whack job. Rogue. The ranting of the elite liberal media? Nope. It was the criticism from within the McCain campaign in the final days of the election as they jumped to scapegoat Palin for a loss they hadnt even incurred yet. Were these criticisms the truth? Probably. Were they also disgustingly unprofessional? You betcha!
Demerit: John Edwards
Whispers at the bus stop; well, we heard about the nights out in the school yard. We found out about you-ooo We found out about you-ooo
A Backwards-In-Time Gold Star: The Final Season of The West Wing
Wow, you guys sure called that one. Im not going to lie, thats a little creepy.
Demerit: Hysteria over Possible Bradley Effect
So widely talked about, even I got worried.
Gold Star: No Bradley Effect
And now, The Gold Star To End All Gold Stars: We elected the right guy.
(Now dont eff it up, buddy.)