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Grading the VP debate

By Meg

Demerit: Lies, All Lies!

It’s not like we need the VP candidates to be concerned with telling the truth or anything. Whoppers and exaggerations included “budget-neutral” vs. "government run" health care; records on taxes; Spain; funding the troops; sounding the bell on Fannie and Freddie; the surplus in Iraq; shall I go on?

Gold Star: “Hey, Can I Call You Joe?”

Whoever told her to ask that is a genius. Palin knew that Biden would not risk being labeled sexist by returning the favor and calling her Sarah. It was a power play, and it was brilliant.

Demerit: Screwing Gays (Not Literally)

Both candidates showed about as much warmth towards our homosexual brethren as Cardinal Egan would at a drag show. Same-sex benefits fall stunningly short, period. I was so pleasantly surprised to hear that Sarah Palin “tolerates” homosexuals, though. That’s really, really big of her. I think we found the next Grand Marshall of the Pride Parade!

Gold Star: Gwen Ifill

Any question of partiality left my mind after she uttered the words that every viewer wanted to hear: “Neither of you really answered that last question.”

Demerit: Doggone It, You Betcha, Darn Right, Golly Gee, Aw Heck, Say-It-Ain’t-So, God Love Ya!Gold Star: Podiums

Having the candidates stand rather than sit gave them each more of an opportunity to go on the attack and took away the “Shhh! People are trying to read!” feeling that the Cheney/Edwards debate had four years ago.

Demerit: Parapraxis, Perhaps?

While neither candidate had a debate-wrecking gaffe, there were some delicious little nuggets on which to snack. Do Americans want John McCain to leave? How am I going to eat my house this winter? How??

Demerit: Flirting Your Way Out of a Tight Situation

Governor, every time you wink or do that really cute gee-I-don’t-know-what-happened-to-my-homework squirming thing you do so well, you set us back about 50 years.

Gold Star: Biden Tears Up

I don’t need my candidates to be warm and fuzzy but I was surprised and touched to see Biden struggle when speaking about the loss of his late wife and daughter.

Demerit: They Both Sucked

Joe, you consistently lose me about 10 seconds after you start talking. Learn to shut the hell up already. Sarah, you just should not be up there.

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