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Ten things I won't miss about the election

(Credit: Politirazzi)

By Jeff Akston

There are only two weeks left in the election. This has been an exciting election, but mostly for the wrong reasons. Below are the top 10 things I’m looking forward being without after Nov. 4. Well, for another two years anyway.

1. Emails/posts that begin with: "Check out these facts about ..."

More often than not, they are complete lies. Worse, they are easily refutable lies but nobody bothers to disprove them. The chain of events is transparent. A pure partisan will fabricate either a story or Photoshop, and send it around as fact. This is OK to them because it’s for the “good of the country.” Gullible people see it and forward it like every other urban legend. Then the mass media picks it up as “a rumor” and spends more time reporting on the reaction than just fact-checking the bollocks. I tried to keep up on the Sarah Palin lies at first, but they just became too bountiful. The same blatant lies continue about both Obama and McCain. Nobody seems to give a whit about Joe Biden.

2. Partisan insanity

The English language has been so weakened the last generation with hyperbole that people now need to refer John McCain as a racist/fascist or Barack Obama as a terrorist/socialist to get their points across. It’s more difficult to win votes with measured language about specific topics, so now you have to call Obama “B. Hussein Obama” or “BHO” to move the needle.

3. John McCain’s horribly inept spokesman, Tucker Bounds

After Nov. 4, I’m pretty sure I’ll never hear from him again as he’ll join Dan Quayle in Republican exile. Every interview with him is uncomfortable. He has a very weak mastery of the talking points, so he rarely has any salient facts to support his case and he often talks himself into a corner. It’s trainwreck TV.4. My self-imposed Andrew Sullivan blackout

Prior to March, Sullivan was the only purely “political” blog on my daily list. He was a true Libertarian and I agreed with him 95 percent of the time. As the election rolled on his adoration for Obama grew, his vile toward McCain also grew. He moved from being a pointed critic of both parties not to a cheerleader for Obama, but to an attack dog against McCain. Every post because filled with vile against McCain. When Palin was nominated, he became one of the favorite voices of the far-left conspiracy-loving Daily Kos crowd. I wanted to write something about this a month ago, but it would have required a ton of work citing examples. Luckily, Alex Massie did it for me.

Sullivan was one of the first “mainstream” media to lend credence to the “did Palin really give birth to Trig?” baseless conspiracy. What’s worse is that he’s STILL harping about it. He’s like Alex Jones now. He’s posted 10 times more about demanding Palin release proof that she actually gave birth to Trig than critiques about Obama’s redistributive tax plan or increased government intervention in health care. He’s completely lost his mind. Hopefully after Obama wins and Palin is no longer in the national landscape, he will get more reasonable.

(AP)

5. Sarah Palin

Could she insult our intelligence anymore than trying to be a serious candidate for vice president while refusing to give a single press conference?

6. Affirmative action

So this is it, right? No more affirmative action? Mixed-race son of a poor single mother becomes president. That pretty much ends the need, I’d think. The need for affirmative action is pretty heavily based on the fact that there is systematic racism in this country that holds minorities down. While there surely still are racists, if this Illuminati of racist power-brokers existed, they would have ensured that Obama lost. But no. Obama’s going to win the presidency — not because of his race and not in spite of his race – but largely with indifference to it. The best person for the job, according to a plurality of Americans happens to be a minority. And good for him. And good for all of the other “best persons for the job” who have historically gotten passed over due to racial quotas. It’s not American, and it looks probably that on Nov. 4, it will be shown to be an antiquated need — at least having it based on race instead of socio-economics.

7. Keith Olbermann's ubiquitous arrogance

I seriously despise him. He’s much worse than O’Reilly or anyone on Fox. He’s clearly as biased as anyone on Fox, but he’s either too partisan or too much of a wuss to have anyone on his show that disagrees with him. It’s an hourlong backslap. And he’s got the smugness of an '80s movie villain.

8. Being without "30 Rock"

No more tedious debates and more horrible SNL Thursday Night Election Specials means "30 Rock" returns.

9. Government giveaway-apalooza

Every four years becomes a competition of who can come up with the biggest government giveaway. McCain wants to rescue the people who couldn’t afford their houses. Both want to provide health care for everyone — and dramatically overstate the number of people who “can’t afford” health care. Obama wants to give away money to farms and people who don’t even pay taxes. McCain wants to lower corporate taxes.

Voters don’t want to hear that the reason 45 million people don’t have health insurance is because about 30 million of them could afford it, but just choose to spend money on cars, iPods, restaurants and flatpanel TVs instead. That it’s not nearly as major a problem as people hype it to be, and if we really wanted to address the problem of the people who can’t afford health care, we should be honest and strip out those who make the economic decision not to be covered. They want to hear that it’s a problem, and doggone it, whoever is president is going to fix everything.

10. Get Out The Vote campaigns

These are so clearly partisan efforts. GOTV drives reach out pretty exclusively demographics with huge Democratic-leaning voter habits. However, they are positioned as “non-partisan,” which is ridiculous. The advertising speaks to populist themes, the advocates are huge left-leaning celebrities, and the audience is always young people. Democrats, if you want to increase your voter rolls that’s fine, but please don’t lie to me in the name of “non partisanship.” And regarding those who need to be led to the polls like a horse to water, I don’t want them to vote. There’s a reason voting happens on Tuesday and not on Saturday. It’s like putting a flight of stairs up to the gym. If a little inconvenience is going to prevent you from going, then you probably aren’t ready to go in the first place.

Tags: jeff akston , funny

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