Are you sure you know what your mom wants for Mother's Day?
The boxed DVD set of "Family Guy" - her husband's favorite show - might just be the worst Mother's Day gift Shakeena Smith-Serrano ever received. "I told him that for Father's Day, I was going to get him a pair of pumps - in my size," fumed Smith-Serrano, a case manager for homeless families who lives in Brownsville.
Susan La Rosa, a marketing director from Park Slope, was likewise less than elated the year she opened up a Mother's Day package from her husband to find the book, "Workouts for Dummies."
"So I'm fat AND stupid?" she asked him.
At least he remembered the day.
Yvonne Byers is still smarting from the year her adult son "did not even call me to wish me a Happy Mother's Day: I had to call him," recalled the Verizon technician from Eastchester in the Bronx.
Mother's Day is a referendum on how well kids and romantic partners behave when mom has no role in telling them what to do. Moms told AMNY that Mother's Day - or, more specifically, Mother's Day gifts - should meaningfully acknowledge the selfless sacrifices they have made and reflect, well, some understanding of who they are. As with any holiday freighted with heightened expectations, disappointments abound.
No wonder. It turns out that what many of us may be planning to get mom for Mother's Day may not be what mom wants, according to an on-line survey of 2,215 adults last month conducted by Harris Interactive on behalf of EBates.
About 72% of men thought moms wanted flowers, but only 38% of moms wanted bouquets. What 48% of the moms said they wanted was a peaceful spa day, devoted to their own relaxation and pampering. Another 36% longed for jewelry.
"They should be giving flowers on a regular basis! To do it on Mother's Day is nothing!" confirmed Byers.
Good Mother's Day gifts, said moms, are things mom wants - not things you want her to have. They are thoughtful, intuitive, acknowledge her sacrifices and personal needs and "celebrate the work a mother does without adding to her work," said La Rosa, who - heads up, kids Alexandra and Peter! - would like to "live in a spa."
The good news is that while the moms AMNY spoke to would welcome a day in the mud bath, followed by a lengthy massage, they also confessed to being softies for frank expressions of sentiment that don't cost a cent.
Smith-Serrano swooned when her daughters, Daisha and Ymani, now 11 and 14, respectively, collaborated on a poem they wrote and framed testifying to how much they loved her.
Estelita Villafane, an administrative assistant from Ditmas Park, almost tears up describing the hand written card that her daughter, Myah, gave her enumerating all the ways that she is "the greatest mother. . . . She put in what she appreciates about me - that I'm always taking care of her and that I'm always there whenever she needs something," she fondly recounted.
One year, with the help of Villafane's husband, Myah brought her breakfast in bed and pampered her all day. "Being a mom is a 24-hour job. To have just one day to really relax is a treat," said the mother of two, who, if anybody cares is also eager for a spa getaway for the only day of the year when "it's about you."