Hank the cat is running for U.S. Senate in Virginia
This article has been updated since its original publication.
Cat got your vote?
Springfield, Va., feline Hank has jumped into the race to fill the U.S. Senate seat vacated by Virginia Democrat Jim Webb, running as an Independent against former Virginia governors George Allen (R) and Tim Kaine (D).
Known only as Hank, the purring politician is 9 years old – or 53 by cat standards – and is pushing a platform of "time-tested solutions" to unemployment and an understanding that Americans are "real people with real problems, not guinea pigs for a politician’s experiments," according to his official campaign website.
"Hank’s story and dedication have inspired all who know him, and he realized that his ideas and unique life experiences could help his community, his state and his country," the kitty's bio reads.
It goes on: "Hank is a refreshing candidate -- energetic, inspiring, and real," and he has "earned his success and his name through hard work." It's unclear exactly what that, er, "success" exactly is.
Nothing in the Constitution says only humans can run for political office, but it does – sadly for Hank – require candidates to be citizens, a status Hank cannot obtain legally.
“If Hank’s campaign were to actually gain attention and threaten to steal some votes, a major candidate could work to have Hank thrown off the ballot,” said Geoffrey Skelley, media relations coordinator at the University of Virgina Center for Politics.
Still, animal overlords are not unheard of: A black Labrador-Rottweiler named Bosco Ramos served as the mayor of Sunol, California from 1981-1990.
And while Hank's stances on abortion, immigration and taxation are unknown, Hank has made one thing clear: If elected, there will be "milk in every bowl."
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