TODAY'S PAPER

On Nov. 4, 2020 . . .

On Nov. 4, 2020, nobody will care about this columnist's best presidential guess. Photo Credit: On Nov. 4, 2020, nobody will care about this columnist’s best presidential guess.

Nov. 4, 2020

Massachusetts Sen. Elizabeth Warren was narrowly elected president on Tuesday, ending years of useless speculation by political pundits on whether she would or wouldn’t.

President Donald Trump conceded after five hours, in a tweet that said “Congratulations to the haters and losers.”

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A follow-up tweet continued: “Surprised with the loss because Failing NYTimes columnist Bret Stephens predicted I would win back in July of 2018. Too bad!”

Stephens could not be reached for comment.

In her first statement as the first female president-elect in United States history, Warren said “I’m happy that I proved David Leonhardt and half the op-ed columnists correct in their speculative articles from back during the midterms. I’m also happy I proved the other half wrong.”

She later included “tiresome relatives” among the list of those who decided the time was ripe to make presidential predictions months before even New Jersey Sen. Cory Booker had declared his presidential run

It was a mud-slinging, invective-filled campaign in which not much was learned about governing policies or philosophies in either of the two debates or the one historic televised mini-golf competition.

Yet another presidential election went by with little substantive discussion by either the candidates or the media of the scourge of climate change, the effect of job automation, or the challenge of affordable housing in American cities and suburbs.

Record breaking heat that reached over 100 degrees for the two weeks leading up to the final spring primaries resulted in the emergency closure of thousands of polling places. Another deadly hurricane season shut down the Puerto Rican power system which had not been sufficiently hardened since Hurricanes Maria and Irma in 2017.

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In New York City, Warren won in a landslide despite some skepticism from Democratic Socialists of America branches that she would remain focused on income inequality. The organizers were still smarting from Gov. Cynthia Nixon’s failure to corral enough state legislators to accomplish a tax on millionaires. She blamed the Independent Democratic Collective, a new group of self-described progressives who were Democrats but ditched their party in exchange for leadership perks in a time-honored state tradition.

Yet many New Yorkers felt that their no-brainer choice on the national level papered over lots of government failures at home.

“I’m sick and tired of only hearing about the president,” said Denny Harris of Brooklyn, when asked who he had voted for Tuesday. “Warren’s great on immigration and thank God Trump is out, but that won’t get the water on in the Gowanus Houses.”

Indeed, campaign operatives in Warren’s regional Astoria headquarters had received worrying reports that NYCHA residents might be slow to the polls, because the lack of water in some developments meant seniors and children were busy carrying buckets of water up to high floors. It has been a common sight as the housing infrastructure crumbles.

In a follow-up voicemail received when this reporter returned to a too-empty newsroom, Harris, 35, added “You’ve gotta be kidding me. The bus system is terrible. The N train’s still running local. My sister’s landlord tried to raise her rent up to $3500 for an East New York one-bedroom. You jokers said Rockaway Beach was gonna be fully open two summers ago and that never happened. I’m working 12-hour shifts for Uber and I’m still making nothing. Traffic sucks. I don’t understand why the Yankees traded Judge. Come back when you want to skip the circus and talk about some real problems.”

Just before press time Gov. Nixon announced the opening of a federal PAC to support her national ambitions.