Op-Ed | Driving change through meaningful dialogue

As a student at John Jay College of Criminal Justice, Jeremiah Lambert-Norfleet is a fierce debater on just about any topic. But after participating in a new program we introduced to improve communication across the CUNY system, Jeremiah concluded that maybe he’s a little too fierce at times.

“Before the training, my instinct was to say, ‘Oh, you disagree with me? I’m going to prove you wrong with hardcore facts that you can’t dispute,’ but I learned to step back from that emotion,” Jeremiah says. “Being right might give you a little self-gratification, but it doesn’t necessarily solve the issue if you’re just making the other person feel defensive.”

Jeremiah’s reflection captures the promise of promoting constructive dialogue at a university as vast and diverse as CUNY.

Over the past year, we have been working with the Constructive Dialogue Institute (CDI) to strengthen dialogue, understanding and respect on our campuses.

As the world becomes increasingly polarized and people become less inclined to engage with opposing voices, these efforts are essential.

“In order to get the most out of education, people have to be their true selves and they have to be able to have these conversations,” says Dominic Stellini, the vice president for student affairs at John Jay. “Through the culture change that we’re hoping to bring, more students, more faculty and more staff will feel comfortable on our campuses.”

The work begins with training for everyone, starting with our college presidents and deans. Faculty and staff across the university are completing training in helping students navigate difficult conversations. Students are taking part in a program called Perspectives, which teaches strategies to modulate emotional responses, recognize areas of connection and communicate across differences. Our faculty are weaving dialogue into classroom conversations, and colleges are launching student-led forums where difficult issues can be discussed with openness and respect.

This isn’t about avoiding disagreement. It’s about learning to engage constructively — to really listen, to bring empathy to conflict and to embrace healthy, informed debate as a core tenet of education.

Jeremiah and his friend and fellow John Jay student Joshua Hall came to the Perspectives program from sharply different angles. Where Jeremiah tended to be aggressive in debates, Joshua avoided conflict at all costs.

“I don’t like having difficult conversations, to the point where even when I’m not wrong, I’ll apologize,” Joshua says. “But what this program showed me is that you have to step out of your comfort zone and have those difficult conversations to progress in life. You have to be a little uncomfortable to be comfortable.”

We live in a time when “difference” too often means “conflict” and talking past each other is too often the default.

There are no quick fixes. But CUNY is betting that students will embrace tools we are giving them to hear each other out, to disagree respectfully and grow from good-faith engagement with those with whom we disagree. Our goal is to weave this capacity for connection into the fabric of CUNY itself — so that it becomes part of who we are.

Matos Rodríguez is the chancellor of The City University of New York (CUNY), the largest urban public university system in the United States.