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Celebrities authors: Jesse Eisenberg, James Franco, more stars who should leave writing to the pros

Sometimes actors and celebrities have delusions of literary prowess based on their popularity.

They think they can do anything and their fans will follow. But sometimes things don't work out as planned. ...

Jesse Eisenberg wrote a laugh-out-loud piece in this week's New Yorker, as have fellow actors Michael Cera and Mindy Kaling. But here are some red-carpet celebrities who maybe should stay out of the literary scene.

Jesse Eisenberg

We loved him in
Photo Credit: Miramax / Abbot Genser

We loved him in "Adventureland" (pictured), "The Social Network" and so on. But his New Yorker short story, "An Honest Film Review," a ham-fisted attempt at satire, leaves us cringing. While The Guardian's Peter Bradshaw admits critics should be fair game, he writes: "His film critic is a dumb loser -- but the author draws a distinction between losers like this and the winners who write for the New York Times and the mainstream press. And Eisenberg is of course appearing in the pages of one of the most prestigious journals of all: the New Yorker. Punching down is one thing. This is satirising down."

Macaulay Culkin

Oh, Mac ... We know your life as
Photo Credit: Getty Images / David Livingston

Oh, Mac ... We know your life as a child star was hard (and maybe even your adult life, too, as the singer in a band that's based 100 percent on pizza?), but you may not have found a new life as an author. "Junior," not based on your life even though it seems like it is, is widely considered odd. Publisher's Weekly called it "self-indulgent" and "infantile." Ouch.

Nicole Richie

Nicole Richie's book is called
Photo Credit: Getty Images / Michael Buckner

Nicole Richie's book is called "The Truth About Diamonds" and tells the story of a Hollywood elite who parties and ends up in rehab. (Richie herself has admitted to doing heroin and cocaine and went to rehab.) But just so you don't get confused, there's a character named Nicole Richie in the novel, too. PopMatters calls the book a "vapid self-portrait."

Arnold Schwarzenegger

The Governator took a stab at writing with
Photo Credit: GETTY IMAGES/ Pascal Le Segretain

The Governator took a stab at writing with his autobiography, "Total Recall: My Unbelievably True Life Story." But even though a story is good, a great writer is needed to tell it. The Guardian called Arnold Schwarzenegger's book "the most unpleasant celebrity memoir ever."

Ramona Singer

If you ever wondered what life on the
Photo Credit: Post Hill Press

If you ever wondered what life on the Ramona Coaster is like, this "Real Housewives of New York City" member's memoir of the same title can guide you through all of life's major challenges when you're Ramona Singer, wealthy and jobless, circa 2015.

Khloe Kardashian

Following the success of sister Kim Kardashian's book
Photo Credit: Regan Arts

Following the success of sister Kim Kardashian's book of selfies, Khloe Kardashian decided to publish her own tell-all, using a few more words. "Strong Looks Better Naked" was released in early November 2015. The book jacket folds out to a full-size poster!

Kendall and Kylie Jenner

Is there anything this family can't do? Write
Photo Credit: Getty Images / Rob Kim

Is there anything this family can't do? Write literary fiction, maybe. Thrilling dystopian young adult novel "Rebels: City of Indra: The Story of Lex and Livia" by the youngest sisters of the Kardashian clan did not thrill readers. Kendall and Kylie Jenner's book has a whopping two stars on Amazon. Maybe the story of Lendall and Lylie would be more popular.

James Franco

James Franco's novel
Photo Credit: GETTY IMAGES/ Jason Kempin

James Franco's novel "Palo Alto" was turned into a movie starring the actor-turned-author himself and directed by a Coppola (Gia). Still, the novel has been panned universally as a piece of literature.

Britney and Lynne Spears

In 2003, Britney Spears -- not yet a
Photo Credit: Delacorte Press

In 2003, Britney Spears -- not yet a girl and certainly not yet an author -- and her mom, Lynne Spears, co-authored a novel, "A Mother's Gift," about a talented teenage singer from the South and her unfortunate-looking mother. What a strange idea for a plot. The 240-pager is crazy, but it feels all right.

Newt Gingrich

If you wanted another white man's fictional take
Photo Credit: Getty Images / Jewel Samada

If you wanted another white man's fictional take on American history, here you go! Former House Speaker Newt Gingrich has a slew of historical fiction including "Never Call Retreat: Lee and Grant: The Final Victory" and other Civil War books, a World War II series and a George Washington series.

Corey Feldman

Photo Credit: St. Martin's Press

"Coreyography" (BEST NAME EVER?!) is a memoir, so calling former child star Corey Feldman an author is a stretch. ... But we actually like this one. It's a page-turner! Feldman has had a crazy life. We won't tell you too much. And we can't tell Feldman not to quit his day job, either, because his day job has long since fizzled.


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