Speaking from experience, as I always do, breaking up with someone isn’t easy. But, for a variety of factors (she’s unrelenting, she doesn’t play well with your friends, etc.) sometimes you just need to call it quits.
Therefore, I am announcing that this will be my final dating column for amNewYork.
Like any breakup, there are a plethora of reasons why I am walking away from the column.
For starters, I’m currently working on a lot of other project– when you can’t commit the proper time to a relationship, that’s not good. Side note: If there are any literary agents who read my column, I’m trying to peddle a book I’ve just finished writing (that’s the “other projects” portion I was talking about). It’s got New York Times bestseller written all over it.
Secondly, when the column starts taking a toll on my personal life, that’s a problem. I knew very well from the start that my name would be out there and that certain people may not agree with my points of view or appreciate my “Fifty Shades of Hogan” stories. However, I think the column cost me a couple of times in ways that I won’t delve in to and that didn’t sit well with me – proving that I too have emotions.
Lastly, I’ve lost some passion. Do I have more stories to tell and more advice to give? Sure. But when the spark isn’t there anymore, you have to re-examine things. Normally, I’d head to one of the sex shops on Eighth Avenue, pick up some kinky toys and come back home to spice things up and repair the relationship. However, this is a column, not a woman, and I don’t think the spark can be reignited.
This wasn’t an easy decision to make because, like any relationship, I feel a close connection with this column. It was created out of nothing and I watched it turn into something I couldn’t have imagined. This ridiculous, self-indulgent column was instantly embraced by you, the readers, and I can’t believe how well-received it was. It was pretty fulfilling when I had people reach out to me and say that my advice actually worked. So my first bit of praise goes to the readers for every page view, every compliment and even every complaint.
I’d like to thank amNewYork for taking a chance on an outspoken, yet handsome and charming, d-bag. Without the outlet, there is no author – so thank you amNY.
I also want to thank my family and friends for the unwavering support from Day 1. A special shout out to Mama Hogan for her role in this column.
I’ve made a career off of swiping right on Tinder – not a lot of people can say, which is probably for the best. For now, I’m going to take a break from swiping and get back to some good old fashioned “met you at a bar on a drunken night and got your number” dating. Maybe I’ll eventually find the future Mrs. Hogan.
Let me leave you with these words: When single life has you down and the dating world seems hopeless, keep at it. Never settle. There’s someone out there for everyone … except for Jared from Subway – that guy is messed up.