We all judge in stereotypes, whether we mean to or not – that’s just the way society works. Since Tinder is just a digital offshoot of the dating world, stereotypes are just as prevalent there as they are anywhere else.
The key is to be open to everything. Some of us aren’t wired that way, but more good will come out of it than not. I’ve learned to be less judgmental in recent years and as a result I’ve taken a lot of chances on Tinder. Some didn’t pay off, but most of them did … in some of the raunchiest sex I’ve ever had. Regardless, they were all learning experiences.
If you judge in stereotypes while dating, you’re bound to pass up on someone who could’ve been “the one.” That’s why I go for everything that swipes my way.
Here’s a look at three stereotypes that stand out to me on Tinder.
When I see “Christ is King” or the Star of David in a girl’s profile, my mind tells me to swipe left and move on with my day. It’s not because I hate people of a certain religion, it’s because I think religion is stupid and that it causes more problems than it solves. However, rather than go with my initial instinct, I push religion to the side and if I think I’ll like a girl, she gets a swipe right.
Point being: Don’t judge someone based on whatever religion they are. Give everyone a fair shot. Again, you never know what you’re passing up on.
“Not Looking For a Hookup”
I see this line more than anything else on Tinder. While it is a good deterrent and true in certain instances, for the most part, it’s not. I’ve realized that most girls are just using that line because they don’t want to be labeled as “skanky.”
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: Girls, you’re not trashy for having a one-night stand. Don’t think in labels.
If you’re a guy looking for a hookup and you see this line in a profile, don’t necessarily swipe left. Having said that, if you start messaging the girl and it seems sincere or you go out on a date and she’s adamant about it, then back off – don’t be a creep.
Trashy Can Mean Classy
I’ve gone out with girls who have piercings in places you wouldn’t believe and tattoos in some very interesting areas. There have been fake boobs, skimpy outfits, dyed hair and a laundry list of other things on my “She’s Probably an Easy Lay” checklist. Then, the unthinkable happens: We don’t sleep together.
To quote Dave Chappelle, “Just because they dress a certain way, doesn’t mean they are a certain way, but ladies, you must understand that that is [expletive] confusing.”
How do I combat this? I just wait them out until they are ready to sleep with me, because every girl has their breaking point and I’m just too damn attractive to pass on forever.
To be clear, stereotypes are not good and we should never judge people by them. Now that that’s settled let’s talk about Tinder stereotypes and judge guys. You don’t have to be a long-term user of Tinder to catch onto the patterns and oh there are patterns. There are some profiles that are so eerily similar that you’d think there is some sort of how-to-guide or messaging forum that guys are secretly reading at night to get “smart” on what the ladies like to see. Pictures of puppies? Oh yeah, post it. Pic of your bank statement? Obviously, girls love money! Here are three of the best (read: worst) stereotypical guys you will inevitably come across is your daily swiping.
The Nice Guy
You know the one I’m talking about. He’s not like the other guys on Tinder, he’s a nice guy! He doesn’t have a selfie with a white tiger because, you know, he’s just your typical New York guy looking for a partner in crime! He just moved here from Ohio and can’t believe this city! Man, one dollar pizza? Only in New York, baby! He wants you to know that he’s not here just for sex, really, he’s a gentleman! He wants you to see the real him and he’s so genuine you find yourself thinking, Hmm is he the love of my life or a murderer?
Then you start chatting, what could go wrong? He so nice. The conversation is friendly enough, he’s saying all of the things you want to hear and you think, Wow finally a good one! But just as quickly as it started, the nice guy act goes away and he’s asking if you’re DTF at 2am on a Tuesday night and if you can “plz send nudes.” Hey, it was nice while it lasted!
The Probably Catfishing You Guy
You’re swiping, you’re swiping, you’re still swiping and then he appears. All of his pictures are modeling head shots and as his crystal blue eyes stare into your soul you think, That’s definitely not him. He doesn’t include anything in his short bio and if he does it’s usually along the lines of, New to the city, want to show me around? Uhhh yes?
Don’t’ fall for it, Kelly. He does not exist. But he’s so pretty. He’s too pretty actually and the more you look at him the more he reminds you one of those models from stock photos in picture frames. you realize you actually saw this stock photo at Target last weekend. You are 100 percent being catfished. But dang, those eyes! Hey, it was nice while it lasted!
The Outdoorsy Guy
Oh THIS guy. You swipe through his pictures and he always seems to be climbing things – mountains, rocks, trees, any inanimate object will do, really. He loves getting out of the city whenever he can, nothing beats fresh air and the great outdoors! Seriously though, he’s always rock climbing and when he’s not rock climbing he’s looking for someone to rock climb with. On balay! Balay on!
And now time for a personal anecdote! One of the first guys I ever started messaging with on Tinder was Mr. Outdoorsy. All but one of his pictures were of him facing away from the camera and essentially making out with a boulder. I don’t know, I guess was into that at the time. Can you guess what he wanted to do on our first date? If you guessed rock climbing, you win! I don’t think of myself as high maintenance, but the thought of a guy watching me struggle to climb a rock while a harness gives me the ultimate wedgie was not cool with me. We never ended up meeting and our conversations soon fizzled out – a sign from a higher being, clearly. Hey, it was nice while it lasted!