PEN PARENTIS LITERARY SALON HOLIDAY AUTHOR MINGLE | Assure the kids that any bad behavior will be duly noted when Santa does a final pass on his “Naughty” list — then head to Lower Manhattan, with the confidence that your baby sitter won’t have to seek treatment for night terrors. An evening of no worries and the chance to have intelligent conversation with a roomful of other likeminded creative types: That’s the promise of a Pen Parentis Salon, where inspiration to keep (or start) writing comes in the form of shop talk and readings from successful authors, who also excel at meeting the sort of ongoing deadlines associated with raising children.
Before those readings and a panel discussion, sip wine and schmooze, as you enjoy music from award-winning jazz guitarist Wilson Montuori. This month’s featured authors are Eleni Gage, Christine Rice, and Elizabeth Isadora Gold. Moms and pops may be the target audience, but everyone is welcome. The series returns on Jan. 10, with an annual Poetry Night featuring Stella Padnos-Shea, Matthew Thorburn, and Christina Cook.
Free. Tues., Dec. 13, 7–9:30pm, at Andaz Wall Street (75 Wall St., entrance at Water St., second floor). Light refreshments and wine provided by the venue. RSVP to this 21+ event is encouraged, via penparentis.org.calendar.
THE ARChive OF CONTEMPORARY MUSIC HOLIDAY RECORD & CD SALE | Sure, the event listing you’re about to read ran in a recent issue — but this is one of those rare occasions when we don’t mind sounding like a broken record. That’s because it’s almost the most wonderful time of the year — when lovers of LPs, groovy givers of global music, and Secret Santas of all stripes can sleigh (okay, slay) their appointed tasks at this one-stop shopping opportunity. Day in and day out, the busy elves at the ARChive of Contemporary Music nonprofit library and research center labor to collect and preserve information on the popular music of all cultures and races throughout the world from 1950 to the present. Having amassed 3 million sound recordings so far, ARC’s noble Noah’s Arc mission inevitably wracks up duplicate copies from record companies and collectors — hence this holiday sale, one of two annual events where the general public has the run of the place.
Up for grabs this December are over 30,000 items: pop, rock, jazz, blues, classical, and world music recordings; videos and DVDs; music books and magazines; picture discs; original vintage ’60s psychedelic posters from the Grande Ballroom in Detroit; and rare Fillmore East programs. Formats? They’ve got 78s, LPs, 45s, and CDs (new and out-of-print CDs start at $3; classical LPs start at $1!).
Dec. 3–18, daily, 11am–6pm. At the ARChive of Contemporary Music ground floor office at 54 White St. (3 blocks south of Canal St., btw. Broadway & Church St.). Call 212-226-6967 or visit arcmusic.org.
SANTA RESCUE SUNDAY AT THE NYC FIRE MUSEUM | How can a jolly old elf with the ability to circumnavigate the globe in one evening get stuck on the roof of the New York Fire Museum? There’s a good explanation for that, and an equally satisfactory solution to this unexpected predicament — when an FDNY ladder truck rescues Santa from his perch, then welcomes the him into the Museum, where kids can pose for photos and give their gift requests to The Man With All The Toys. Don’t put on the kids on your “Naughty” list if that Beach Boys reference flies right past them with the speed of a hypersonic sleigh; best to just let them enjoy the experience (further heightened by Christmas carols and other seasonal selections performed indoors by John Clacher’s Fire House Band).
Sun., Dec. 4, 11:30am at the New York City Fire Museum (278 Spring St., btw. Hudson & Varick Sts.). The outdoor rescue is free; admission for the in-museum event is ($8 for adults, $5 for children. Reservations recommended: Visit nycfiremuseum.org or call 212-691-1303, x13.
TREE LIGHTING AND HOLIDAY SINGS IN WASHINGTON SQUARE PARK | What good is having a song in your heart if you keep going in and out on the words? With free lyric books at the ready, The Washington Square Association has you covered, as you cover beloved Yuletide carols and Hanukkah songs while accompanied by the Rob Susman Brass Quartet — at this pair of annual events taking place at the base of the iconic Washington Square Park Arch. The stage was set on Mon., Nov. 28, when a 45-foot Christmas tree was delivered in the extremely early morning hours, then anchored to the Arch for the season (it shines bright daily, between 4pm and 1am). On Wed., Dec. 7 at 6pm, those sparkling lights get their first go-round, when Santa Claus distributes a copious amount of candy canes, then leads the crowd in an illumination countdown. Brass Quartet and songbooks at the ready, you’ll croon familiar holiday tunes — then repeat that festive holiday ritual on Christmas Eve, when revelers will gather beneath the Arch at 5pm to see if they can get through their favorite song without the help of those handy songbooks.
The Washington Square Park Arch is located at the foot of Fifth Ave., one block south of Eighth St. For info, call 212-252-3621 or visit washingtonsquarenyc.org.
WEST VILLAGE CHORALE AUDIENCE OPEN MESSIAH SING | A nonsectarian, independent chorus that’s been the voice of the people, for the people, and by the people since 1971, the West Village Chorale hosts concerts and community events from its base at that 1890 landmark, Judson Memorial Church. This month sees three of the Chorale’s most beloved annual happenings, starting with a Dec. 4 audience sing of Handel’s “Messiah.” Scores are provided, as is piano accompaniment and intermission refreshments. Come lend your voice to fill the atmospheric sanctuary as The Chorale’s new music director, Dr. Colin Britt, conducts. David Ralph, on piano, serves as the baroque “orchestra.” Other upcoming Chorale events: Dec. 11’s holiday concert and Dec. 17’s Village Caroling Walk.
The Open Messiah Sing happens on Sun., Dec. 4, 4pm at Judson Memorial Church (55 Washington Square South at Thompson St.). $15 general admission, $10 students. Visit westvillagechorale.org.
HOTSY TOTSY BURLESQUE TRIBUTES THE “STAR WARS HOLIDAY SPECIAL” | A long time ago, in a far-out, far, far away place known as the pop culture landscape of 1970s America, confidence gained from the phenomenal box office success of “Star Wars” got the best of its creator, George Lucas, who would almost immediately disavow the debacle that was the “Star Wars Holiday Special.”
Long the stuff of VHS-only legend before the days of YouTube, the thoroughly bizarre Wookie-centric plot concerns efforts to properly celebrate “Life Day,” and includes a musical number from cantina owner Bea Arthur that’s actually pretty good, except for the part where it’s bookended by an interminably long scene that has very little purpose besides, perhaps, to fill time between cameos from Harrison Ford, Carrie Fisher, and Mark Hamill.
To the rescue of this cultural curiosity comes Hotsy Totsy Burlesque, an ongoing series where skin meets satire, in the form of loving, libido-friendly tributes to everything from “Doctor Who” to “Harry Potter” (the first two months of 2017 will tackle The Muppets and the “Ladies of Disney,” respectively). As for December’s show, hosts Cherry Pitz and Handsome Brad present performances from Bimini Cricket, Brief Sweat, Fem Appeal, GoGo Incognito, Le Grand Chaton, and Rosie Cheeks, and Dolly Dagger — names that put the seemingly clever monikers of “BB-8” and “C-3PO” to shame!
Thurs., Dec. 8, 8pm at The Slipper Room (167 Orchard St., corner of Stanton St.). For tickets ($10), visit slipperroom.com. Artist info at hotsytotsyburlesque.com.
—BY SCOTT STIFFLER
