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OpinionColumnistsMike Vogel

Here’s how 2018 will be different from 2017

Prepare for the second year of the Donald Trump presidency.

The stock market continues its climb since bottoming

The stock market continues its climb since bottoming out in 2008. But the Russia probe may affect that rise in 2018.

Hang in there, a turbulent 2017 is almost over. Will 2018 be any calmer? Ha! Let’s look back and also prepare for the second year of the Donald Trump presidency:

February 2017: North Korea launches a ballistic missile. “We see this as part of an attempt by the North to grab attention by demonstrating its nuclear and missile capabilities,” said a South Korean military spokesman.

February 2018: The Winter Olympics are held in South Korea, with Russia banned for cheating. Many of the venues are just 60 miles from the North Korean border. What could possibly go wrong?

August 2017: Continuing its steady climb since bottoming out in 2008, the stock market hits another all-time high, with the Dow Jones industrial average topping at 22,000. Trump takes full credit for this latest market surge.

August 2018: Reacting to growing worldwide unrest, as well as increasingly bizarre behavior from a White House under siege from special prosecutor Robert Mueller, the stock market plunges 10,000 points. Trump says, “In the spirit of the late, great Abraham Lincoln, I am declaring martial law and will begin locking up the disloyal opposition for causing this, starting with Hillary and thus keeping my campaign promise.”

October 2017: A staggering number of Hollywood power players, from Harvey Weinstein to Kevin Spacey, are accused of sexual harassment and assault.

October 2018: The ongoing “Purge of Pigs” movement leaves only two people standing in Hollywood: Tom Hanks and Betty White.

November 2017: Trump celebrates a year since his election as president, and Republicans mark 12 months since voters gave them control of the White House, Senate and the House of Representatives.

November 2018: Democrats reclaim majorities in the House and Senate as record numbers of Americans turn out to vote. Trump fears for his presidency.

December 2017: In a directive straight out of George Orwell’s “1984,” the Trump administration bans the Centers for Disease Control from using certain words, including “science-based,” “fetus” and “transgender.”

December 2018: Trump desperately adds more words to the banned list, including “facts,” “impeachment” and “dotard.”

December 2018: In his final official act, after it becomes clear Congress is about to impeach him, Trump pardons himself, all relatives and Vladimir Putin. He also orders the National Park Service to begin work at Mount Rushmore to put his image just to the right of Abraham Lincoln.

Happy New Year, and keep the faith!

Playwright Mike Vogel blogs at newyorkgritty.net.

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