Cubs beat Miami! Sweep World Series in 5!

EDITOR’S NOTE: This story is a satirical account based on the events depicted in “Back to the Future Part II.” …

EDITOR’S NOTE: This story is a satirical account based on the events depicted in “Back to the Future Part II.” The film, released in 1989, predicted the Cubs would beat Miami on Oct. 21, 2015, to win their first World Series in more than 100 years.

Way to go, Cubbies!

The 107 year wait is over for the Chicago Cubs who are, at long last, World Series champions. A 6-1 victory Wednesday over the Miami Gators wrapped up a five-game sweep within the friendly confines of Wrigley Field in Chicago.

“Whoa,” said right-hander starter Jay Michaels, the World Series MVP whose 88 mph sinker fooled power-hitting Miami first baseman Tanner Biffle for strike three to clinch the Cubs’ first championship since 1908. “This is heavy.”

The Cubs, who hadn’t even reached the Fall Classic since 1945, were a long-shot entering the season. Las Vegas tabbed them as 100-1 underdogs to end their lengthy World Series drought. TV analyst Jimmy Strickland was critical of the team’s perceived attitude problem during spring training, calling them “slackers who wouldn’t amount to anything worth remembering in the history of baseball.”

Well, history changed. Behind Michaels, who pitched complete games in the series opener and on Wednesday, the Cubs thoroughly dominated the American League champions that were making their first appearance in the Fall Classic since they played in the National League as the Florida Marlins in 2003. Across 18 World Series innings, Michaels struck out 12 while walking just one. He allowed four hits and one run, a solo home run by Mad Dog Buford in the second inning on Wednesday.

“Johnny B. Goode” by Chuck Berry, which became the Cubs’ anthem this summer as they ran away with the National League Central Division crown, played as the players mobbed Michaels on the mound like a rock star. Fans stayed behind at Wrigley for hours to revel in the enchantment of victory.

“I wish I could go back to the beginning of the season,” Michaels said, “[and] put some money on us.”

Chicago manager Doc DeLorean’s lineup provided steady run support in each game during the best-of-nine series sweep. Right fielder Lloyd Christopher, who announced in the spring that this would be his final season, had RBI doubles in three of the five games as he ended his own personal decades-long quest for a championship.

“Great Scott!” a giddy Christopher said during the postgame news conference. “My God! Do you know what this means? It means one of my teams actually did it.”

Lee Thompson came out of his shell during the series. The usually light-hitting second baseman hit the deciding grand slam in the Cubs’ 10-inning Game 3 victory in Miami and added a pair of two-run homers in Game 5.

“It was meant to be,” Thompson said.

George Crispin, who put the Cubs on the board Wednesday with a run-scoring base hit off Miami left-hander Needles Balzary that sent third baseman Goldie Donald home in the first inning, echoed Thompson’s sentiment that the Cubs’ victory was predetermined.

“This World Series was our density,” Crispin said, before correcting himself. “I mean, our destiny.”

Notes and quotes: Miami right-hander Joey McRae was suspended for 162 games for using a bionic arm. He could still face federal charges for possessing the uncalibrated appendage. Wilson started Game 3 but was ejected after just three pitches when his fastball was clocked at 171 mph, raising suspicions. Michaels showed little remorse for McRae, addressing him directly: “Better get used to those bars, kid.” … The Toronto Blue Jays fired manager Robert Ziakas, whose team lost in the American League Championship Series to Miami. … Queen Diana attended the game as part of her weeklong visit to the United States. She is scheduled to visit president Jennifer Parker on Friday.

Scott Fontana