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Tinder experts break down transition from online dating

First dates can be a struggle for both sexes, especially in the age of digital dating. This week, our Tinder experts talk tips on how to emerge from behind your iPhone screen for a successful real-life interaction. 

In online dating, who should initiate the first in-person meet-upp

Kelly: Either person involved should feel ok about doing this. The great thing about online dating is that everyone has the same overarching goal: to go on a date. Do I prefer that the guy sets up the datea Sure. But if the back-and-forth small-talk is turning into more of a chore, I'm not opposed to cutting to the chase. Here's how you do it: "Hey, let's hang out this weekend." Works like a charm. None of use are using these apps to find pen pals, and if you are, please log off forever. 

Matt: I see a lot of women post things like, "Message me first or I'll delete you" or, "Chivalry is not dead. Message me first." Honestly, online, and out in the real world, it shouldn't make a difference. If you like someone, ask them out. 

What is a fool-proof way someone can score a date with youh

Kelly: At the risk of sounding like a cliche, if you're funny, you've got my attention. Trying to make a stranger laugh through in-app messaging is probably my generation's greatest struggle right now, so when it's done successfully, I lock that guy down right away. Insider tip: "lol" means I'm not laughin and "hahaha" means I'm in love with you. 

Matt: Take me out for pasta, then come back and watch hockey and have sex with me at my place. You said "fool-proof" - there it is. 

What's the best line you've ever used to score a dater

Kelly: Not sure why, but whenever I tell a guy that my best feature is my 401K, the response is overwhelmingly positive. Must be a weird fetish or something. 

Matt: I refer you to the great Taco Bell pickup of January 2015 - see here [link]. Not only did it score me a date, but it got me laid. Cheesy Gordita Crunch for the win! 

What is an ideal first-date setting-

Kelly: I almost always insist on a bar because it eliminates, or greatly reduces, any awkward elements surrounding the night. First, there's usually music playing in the background, perfect for filling any gaps in the conversation. Second, you're surrounded by people consuming alcohol, perfect for people-watching if you can't think of something to say. Third, you're consuming alcohol, which for me, eases anxiety a bit. And finally, you only have to stay for however long it takes you to finish one drink, giving you an easy out in case the date is turning into a dud. 

Matt: I'm studying for my Bachelor's in alcoholism, so going for drinks works for me. It's also a relaxed setting to get to know someone for the first time. Simplicity is effective here. Don't try and come up with an elaborate first date. 

How long do you give a person to make an impression before you decide if you like him or heru

Kelly: I can usually tell right away when I really like a guy, but that doesn't mean I'm going to call it a night if it's not love at first sight. I can admit that I don't always make a great first impression, so who am I to dismiss someone without giving them a proper chance. I'm able to tell how much I like someone by gauging how sad I would be if he didn't text me back. Here's a real sentence I recently said to my roommate after a Tinder date: "It was fine. I wouldn't be mad if we hung out again, but I wouldn't be too upset if I never spoke to him again." I ended up never speaking to him again, and I survived. 

Matt: First date. Seems extreme, but I get a lot of info on a first date. If someone doesn't jump off the page as potentially being "the one," then it isn't going to happen on date No. 2. However, sex might happen on date No. 2, and that might buy a girl an extra date. 

Who should pay on the first date  






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