If you want to teach your kids how to behave, tell them to carefully listen to Donald Trump.
No, I’m not kidding. I know many parents are freaking out that Donald the Nasty is saturating the media, and (egads!) that their kids are watching. Ominous articles such as “The Parent-Child Discussion That So Many Dread: Donald Trump” in The New York Times address these panicked moms and dads.
Not to worry. As a former teacher, I can tell you that Trump provides a perfect teaching tool, and I do mean tool. From cursing to bragging to denigrating minorities to instigating fights, Trump is a walking, talking Mr. Bad Example.
But what a gift to parents. Whatever Trump does, just teach your child to do the opposite. For example, who better to provide a lesson on bullying than him? When a protester showed up at one of his campaign events, Trump said he’d like to “punch him in the face.”
A perfect chance to ask your children to choose the right response to someone who disagrees with them: violence, or respecting free speech and their rights to have different opinions? Great parenting!
Just remember, you’re the adult, so stay objective and make sure to say things in a way a child can understand. So when Trump mocks a disabled reporter, calmly explain to your impressionable tot why anyone who mimics someone’s disability is lower than the slimiest worm that crawls the earth.
Not only does Trump provide a treasure trove of impermissible behavior for the kids, but also a chance to teach them some history.
For example, nasty accusations hurled at Fox News’ Megyn Kelly (and other women who dare say anything less than adoring about Trump) are excellent opportunities to discuss the Salem witch trials, where innocent women were persecuted for being possessed by the devil. Trump even offers similar terminology used by the righteous witch hunters of the 1600s (She had “bloodcoming out of her wherever!”)
Those with teenage sons get bonus lessons from Trump, about objectifying women and how not to talk about them (“fat pig,” “bimbo” and “ugly”)
OK, there remains one tiny problem. What’s the lesson going be if he wins?
Playwright Mike Vogel blogs at newyorkgritty.net.