Got $125,000? Your cockpit seat awaits

That is, at least until later that night when you’re dealing with a jet-lagged child.” class=”wp-image-111209458″/>

Concede that flying will never again be enjoyable . . . or at least not until your child can understand bribes and threats. No, you will not get to watch a movie without pausing it about five dozen times, eat your meal like a normal human with two free hands or sleep for any extended period of time. But if you are lucky, you will end your flight much like that woman and I did: looking ragged, smelling questionable and feeling victorious.

That is, at least until later that night when you’re dealing with a jet-lagged child. Photo Credit: iStock

Sit back, relax and enjoy your flight. Your pilot today will be cousin Chuck.

Queens-based JetBlue Airways has launched a program to teach novice pilots to fly its passenger planes.

I know what you’re thinking. Why?

“Many dream of becoming a pilot but are deterred by financial realities,” said Warren Christie, a JetBlue executive. True. But this unique program will be available for the bargain basement price of $125, 000.

In return, “New York’s hometown airline,” as JetBlue likes to call itself, will offer “an opportunity to create the best pilot training program in the U.S. . . . So that those with the natural aptitude can pursue their dream.”

So if you are ready to ditch the cubicle and head for the skies, the airline’s Gateway Select program is ready to make you a pilot trainee. Can you multitask? How’s your hand-eye coordination? Do you have a passport? And $125,000?

Then get ready for an adventure at JetBlue University in Orlando, for training on aviation fundamentals. But you must pass a “personality” (not psychological) screening. I’m not sure what that means, but I think it goes something like this:

“You want to fly a 100-seat passenger jet?”

Yes, sir!

“Do you have $125,000?”

“Yes sir!

“Welcome aboard!”

The training takes four years, with no guarantees. So how do experienced pilots feel about this? “We’re opposed to it,” Capt. Jim Bigham, chairman of the JetBlue Airline Pilots Association union, told Bloomberg Business. “We think there are thousands of pilots available that have higher qualifications.” Spoilsport!

If passenger jets can be flown by novices (who will have to garner 1,500 hours of flight experience and FAA certification first, so that’s reassuring) why not try this in other fields? You say you’re no rocket scientist? I say you are! Or perhaps you think you have what it takes to be a brain surgeon. Hey, if sleepy Dr. Ben Carson can do it, why not you?

But why stop there? How about president of the United States? Amateur candidates are quite the rage these days. Of course, it will take a bit more than $125,000.

Then again, there’s always Kickstarter.

Playwright Mike Vogel blogs at newyorkgritty.net.