ASSAULT: Bodied and bloodied | In New York City, life moves pretty fast. If you don’t stop to look around once in awhile, well, you could miss the deranged stranger charging right at you in broad daylight. That happened to a 34-year-old man on Thurs., April 20, who was minding his own business, walking southbound on the east side of Eighth Ave. shortly before 5pm, when, for reasons unknown, a total stranger began screaming at him and acting irate. “Come at me man,” he yelled at the passerby, who politely declined the offer by doing his best to ignore him. It was for naught though, as soon thereafter, at the northeast corner of Eighth Ave. and W. 16th St., the aggro anon ran directly toward the man and punched him in the right ear, causing him to fall to the ground. As the blindsided pedestrian lay with his right ear and left hand bleeding on the sidewalk, the punchy perp fled southbound on Eighth Ave., into the nearby A/C/E subway station. The man did not pursue his attacker, as he opted to go to CityMD instead, to get his injuries checked out.
PETIT LARCENY: Trunk trouble | A 28-year-old man parked his car at the northeast corner of Ninth Ave. and W. 21st St. on Sun., April 16, and after coming back to retrieve it on Fri., April 21, noticed that the interior was in a state of disarray that it was not left in days before. Worried about this development, he got out and checked his trunk, and discovered that someone had taken his $545 Tumi Alpha suitcase from within. Currently, it’s unknown if there’s video evidence at the scene, and the vehicle showed no signs of forced entry.
ASSAULT: Public mastication | On Fri., April 21, a patron of the adult store Rainbow Station (203 Eighth Ave., btw. W. 20th & 21st Sts.) took the rare opportunity to take a very literal bite into crime. At around 3am (known as “the witching hour” to both sex shop professionals and paranormal investigators), a 28-year-old man began to argue with another customer, who was brandished with a marijuana leaf tattoo, who was also perusing, uh, wares in the shop. Eventually, the argument got so heated that the tattooed troublemaker lashed out, and bit the other man on the left cheek. While the attack caused a minor laceration to the victim’s cheek, he refused medical attention at the scene. The other cheek was not turned, however, for his assailant (also 28 years old), who was arrested promptly.
PETIT LARCENY: The Dream job | While the toothy attacker in the above item learned the repercussions for biting the hard way, the next day, another man discovered that the worst thing to bite, perhaps, is the metaphorical hand that feeds. On Sat., April 22, the supervisor at the Dream Hotel (355 W. 16th St., btw. Eighth & Ninth Aves.) discovered there were a number of items missing from the establishment’s inventory, and asked that the security officer search the bag of a 29-year-old employee they suspected of being the culprit. When the club’s security officer followed through, and inspected the employee as they were leaving work around 5am, he found the whole host of grifted goods (estimated value, $154.50) in the employee’s possession: two steaks ($50), bottles of Jameson ($42) and Johnnie Walker Black ($48), in addition to three avocados, six limes, tomatoes, and bottles of Evian and Perrier. The Bronx man was arrested, and, presumably, fired.
—SEAN EGAN
THE 10th PRECINCT: Located at 230 W. 20th St. (btw. Seventh & Eighth Aves.). Commander: Capt. Paul Lanot. Main number: 212-741-8211. Community Affairs: 212-741-8226. Crime Prevention: 212-741-8226. Domestic Violence: 212-741-8216. Youth Officer: 212-741-8211. Auxiliary Coordinator: 212-924-3377. Detective Squad: 212-741-8245. The Community Council meets on the last Wed. of the month, 7pm, at the 10th Precinct or other locations to be announced.
MIDTOWN SOUTH PRECINCT: Located at 357 W. 35th St. (btw. Eighth & Ninth Aves.). Inspector Russel J. Green, Commanding Officer. Call 212-239-9811. Community Affairs: 212-239-9846. Crime Prevention: 212-239-9846. Domestic Violence: 212-239-9863. Youth Officer: 212-239-9817. Auxiliary Coordinator: 212-239-9836. Detective Squad: 212-239-9856. The Community Council meets on the third Thurs. of the month, 7pm, at the New Yorker Hotel (481 Eighth Ave., btw. W. 34th & 35th Sts.). Visit midtownsouthcc.org.
THE 13th PRECINCT: Located at 230 E. 21st St. (btw. Second & Third Aves.). Deputy Inspector: Brendan Timoney. Call 212-477-7411. Community Affairs: 212-477-7427. Crime Prevention: 212-477-7427. Domestic Violence: 212-477-3863. Youth Officer: 212-477-7411. Auxiliary Coordinator: 212-477-4380. Detective Squad: 212-477-7444. The Community Council meets on the third Tues. of the month, 6:30pm, at the 13th Precinct.
CASH FOR GUNS | $100 cash will be given (no questions asked) for each handgun, assault weapon or sawed-off shotgun, up to a maximum payment of $300. Guns are accepted at any Police Precinct, PSA or Transit District.
