PETIT LARCENY: Newport worth hundreds | The smooth taste of Menthol may have helped a certain toxic tar stick cement its status as “the second best selling cigarette brand in the United States” (unimpeachable source: Wikipedia), but we doubt this brazen thief has the lung capacity to smoke his ill-gotten gains in a single session. According to police, a male, approximately 19 (not even out of his “nico-teen” years!), walked into the 7-Eleven at 246 W. 23rd St. (btw. Seventh & Eighth Aves.) around 54 minutes past midnight on Fri., July 14. He jumped over the counter and removed 21 packs ($279.30 worth) of Newport 100 cigarettes. Video of the incident was available, which could give authorities the smoking gun they need to snuff out the problem.
PETIT LARCENCY: Lack of ‘Air’ after languid latte | Hey, highly caffeinated chums, have you heard the latest buzz? It’s a good idea to keep your eyes peeled while sipping the day away. Heeding that sage advice could have saved one java-juiced Joe a cool one thou(sand), had he been more vigilant. The 52-year-old victim told police that in the late afternoon of Fri., July 14, he was sitting in Starbucks (W. 43rd St. & Ninth Ave.) chatting away on the phone. Two hours later he arrived home to discover that the iPad Air (valued at $1,000) was missing from his bag, which he later admitted to police was open on a seat next to him. Using an app to find the device, it was traced to a building on W. 41st St., but authorities were unable to pinpoint the specific apartment in which it was being held (and not for safe return, we’re betting).
CRIMINAL POSSESSION OF A CONTROLLED SUBSTANCE: I paid for it! | Shortly after 3 a.m. on Fri., July 14, police observed two people in a car at the northwest corner of Ninth Ave. & W. 14th St., engaging in what appeared to be a narcotics transaction. Defendant #1, a 29-year-old male, was “observed in possession of a controlled substance.” Upon exiting the transporting vehicle, a quantity of a controlled substance was found on the seat where Defendant #2, a 56-year-old male, had parked his rump. A strip search of D#2 conducted at the 10th Precinct yielded positive results for a quantity of marijuana. “This isn’t mine,” claimed D#1, with the not-so-smooth criminal identified as D#2 stating, at one point, “He sold me drugs,” and “I paid for it.” Needless to say, arrests were made, and all hopes of making it home that night and ministering to their munchies went up in smoke.
PETIT LARCENY: Stolen look | Governor Cuomo may have coined the phrase, but we doubt he saw this one coming. A careless commuter had his own personal “Summer of Hell” during the start of evening rush hour on Fri., July 15 — when, at around 5 p.m., he was sitting on an underground bench at Eighth Ave. & W. 23rd St., waiting for a train. Placing his phone next to him on a bench (never a wise move in this town), the man looked the other way for just a moment and, when he looked back, saw that his $600 Samsung Galaxy Note was no longer in his personal orbit.
—Scott Stiffler
THE 10th PRECINCT: Located at 230 W. 20th St. (btw. Seventh & Eighth Aves.). Commander: Capt. Paul Lanot. Main number: 212-741-8211. Community Affairs: 212-741-8226. Crime Prevention: 212-741-8226. Domestic Violence: 212-741-8216. Youth Officer: 212-741-8211. Auxiliary Coordinator: 212-924-3377. Detective Squad: 212-741-8245. The Community Council (on summer hiatus until Sept. 27) meets on the last Wed. of the month, 7pm, at the 10th Precinct or other locations to be announced.
MIDTOWN SOUTH PRECINCT: Located at 357 W. 35th St. (btw. Eighth & Ninth Aves.). Inspector Russel J. Green, Commanding Officer. Call 212-239-9811. Community Affairs: 212-239-9846. Crime Prevention: 212-239-9846. Domestic Violence: 212-239-9863. Youth Officer: 212-239-9817. Auxiliary Coordinator: 212-239-9836. Detective Squad: 212-239-9856. The Community Council (on summer hiatus until Sept. 21) meets on the third Thurs. of the month, 7pm, at the New Yorker Hotel (481 Eighth Ave., btw. W. 34th & 35th Sts.). Visit midtownsouthcc.org.
THE 13th PRECINCT: Located at 230 E. 21st St. (btw. Second & Third Aves.). Deputy Inspector: Brendan Timoney. Call 212-477-7411. Community Affairs: 212-477-7427. Crime Prevention: 212-477-7427. Domestic Violence: 212-477-3863. Youth Officer: 212-477-7411. Auxiliary Coordinator: 212-477-4380. Detective Squad: 212-477-7444. The Community Council (on summer hiatus until Sept. 19) meets on the third Tues. of the month, 6:30pm, at the 13th Precinct.
CASH FOR GUNS | $100 cash will be given (no questions asked) for each handgun, assault weapon or sawed-off shotgun, up to a maximum payment of $300. Guns are accepted at any Police Precinct, PSA or Transit District.