Aquarius Replace the strict rules and unsolicited advice of others with trick moves and blanket statements of your own — or suffer a horrible fate.
Pisces Storm clouds gather when a high-pressure event charges your particles, pushes your buttons and raises your hackles. Let a smile be your metaphorical umbrella.
Aries The shape of a cloud, seen from the High Line, helps to reveal the location of a long-lost object.
Taurus Your luck is like Aunt Chelsea’s advice column: gone for the longest time, but coming back strong (and soon)!
Gemini Eye contact is flirting. Looking back is cruising. Waking up with your wallet gone is a shameful rookie mistake — but hardly an excuse to recuse yourself from the game.
Cancer This May, you must nip that short spring fling with old habits in its darling bud — or suffer the consequences all summer long.
Leo Failure to adequately proofread a love letter will result in the reverse desired effect. Double-check your work before pressing “send.”
Virgo Unless you’ve recently been bitten by a radioactive spider, that tingling sensation probably indicates a serious medical condition. Get it checked!
Libra A former adversary seeks your help, as chief strategist in a dangerous game played to save a mutual friend from certain doom. Forgive, and collaborate!
Scorpio A conversation overheard while waiting in an unusually long line inspires you to pair a nearby image with an original poem. Post it, and claim brief viral fame as your reward.
Sagittarius The approval of others is like a Kentucky Derby hat: fun to wear, but soon forgotten. The only sure bet comes from running your own race.
Capricorn Your stubborn refusal to be truthful when sharing the results of those Buzzfeed quizzes says more about you than a whimsical poll ever will.
