By Josh Rogers
Maybe I’m not as strange as I thought I was.
When I decided recently to step back as editor of this paper and devote most of my time to raising my infant son, I was expecting a few raised eyebrows, some diplomatic “that’s nice’s” and perhaps even a “you gotta be kidding.” My wife and I know this is the right decision for us, but I barely know any SAHDs — what stay at home dads are called on thebump.com, a mostly moms’ web site she visits frequently.
What has surprised me the most so far is the nearly universal, enthusiastic responses I get from people. I guess we’ve come a long way, baby.
Or maybe things have just been this way for a while and I didn’t realize it. A retired senior told me he stayed home a few years to raise his daughter and loved it. That came a few minutes after a man in his early 20s, someone who has had an impressive start to his career, said he hoped to stay home years from now when he figures he’ll become a father. A man I know, who’s in his 60s and has held several powerful positions in different fields, did not pause for an instant when he said I was making a very smart decision. Another who almost certainly will never have children also offered me his heartfelt congratulations.
I assumed women would be full of praise — and they have been — but now that I have been doing this a few weeks, I’m a little surprised.
I hesitate to say this, but it does cross my mind that I may have tapped into a scam that few men ever knew about. This new responsibility has not been hard. Isaac usually takes two long naps a day, and when he’s awake he still can’t crawl or walk, so watching him is not taxing.
Before you hit “send” on that angry email, let me say I know this a momentary situation. I was an assistant teacher in an infant-toddler room before I went into journalism, so I know this will not last — haven’t even had to deal with teething yet. I’m also lucky to be doing this in warm weather so we are never stuck inside on a cold cold cold day, as Dr. Seuss would say.
Pretty much the only SAHD I know, my brother-in law, left work a few months ago to take care of his toddler. “If I have to take [crap] from people and not say anything, I might as well do it at home,” he explained to me.
For me it was different since I like my job. I’m still fascinated by Lower Manhattan and World Trade Center rebuilding in particular and I hope to continue covering it part time. Hopefully someday I won’t bore my son when I take him down to the rebuilt WTC and tell him stories about the fights along the way getting it built and pointing out the wise and foolish decisions that were made.
That’s hoping for two things really. One, of course, is a wish that my recollections will not be dull. The other is that the memorial and buildings will get rebuilt fully. Although I don’t have much doubt it will all happen someday, chronicling a decade of false schedules and promises has ingrained a simple truth in my head: Nothing opens until it opens.
And even then it may not stay open. The goal now is to open the memorial plaza next year on Sept. 11, but after that it could be primarily closed for another year while the underground memorial and museum is built.
But these days I’m thinking more about whether my son gets a few minutes a day of “tummy time” to strengthen those muscles, and figuring out his first snacks.
Geez doc, solid food already? He’s only 4 1/2 months and that formula has loads of healthy calories. He’s a little on the little side and shouldn’t we do whatever we can to keep open the remote possibility of a basketball scholarship? Tuition in 18 years will be…oh, let’s not even think about that.
It’ll be a fun ride regardless of how long I get to do it. We are apparently not trailblazers, so I guess there’s no bestseller in it, but it’s all much more valuable than that.
