ASSAULT: Rec league rumble | A staggering display of poor sportsmanship caused two hard-hitting hooligans to hit the big house instead of the showers on Thurs., Apr. 14. At about 10pm, at the northwest corner of W. 20th St. & 11th Ave., a dispute broke out between two men (a 35-year-old Manhattan resident and a 30-year-old from Queens) about a game of soccer. Things escalated to the point where the Queens man came at the Manhattan man from behind, and punched him in the nose — causing swelling, pain, and bleeding. In a separate police report filed just after, the Queens man stated that the Manhattanite slapped him in the right eye (causing bruising) and spat on him. Both bad sports wound up getting arrested and, almost certainly, red cards from the ref.
MAKING GRAFFITI: Caught with his “Richard” out | On Fri., Apr. 15, one 22-year-old discovered the hard way that he was not quite the Banksy-level street artist he may have aspired to be. At about 2:25am, police observed the impromptu artist writing on the step and aluminum door of the closed Nancy Hoffman Gallery (250 W. 27th St., btw. Seventh & Eighth Aves.) with a purple marker. The tagger’s work read “Richard G Hoe,” and, more bluntly, “Dick,” causing damage under $250, and securing him a solo show in jail.
GRAND LARCENY: Seized wallet | Most people with a conscience know not to kick a person while they’re down, but it shouldn’t have to be spelled out that taking someone’s wallet while they’re down is also not morally kosher. Back in mid-March, a 28-year-old man walking home from work had a seizure on the street outside of Chelsea Market (75 Ninth Ave., btw. W. 15th & W. 16th Sts.). He woke up in the hospital, to discover that his wallet was missing, and that charges had been racked up on his cards, which the victim quickly cancelled. He told authorities that he believed he had been pickpocketed — and on Mon., Apr. 11, police were able to corroborate the victim’s account of the incident, by obtaining video from Chelsea Market’s security director, which clearly showed a stranger taking the wallet from the unconscious man.
PETIT LARCENY: Hard time possible for soft serve crime | Perhaps they have an insatiable sweet tooth, or perhaps they’re in cahoots with Mister Softee — but either way, two unknown thieves will have a lot of explaining to do if they’re ever caught. At about 2pm on Fri., Apr. 15, a 33-year-old employee of CVS (500 W. 23rd St., at 10th Ave.) reported to police that two criminals, acting in concert, had just shoplifted from their store for the third time (though it was the first time authorities were involved). Their haul? A brain-freezing 148 items of miscellaneous ice cream products, totaling $935. They “split” before they could be brought in — and this publication puts forth the possibility that the perps, who clearly have a soft spot for Ben and Jerry, are currently en route to Vermont, via ice cream truck.
ASSAULT/HARASSMENT: Bottle popping weekend | Anyone who had the kind of profoundly painful weekend that one exceptionally unlucky 25-year-old Staten Island employee of Brooklyn Bagel & Coffee Company (286 Eighth Ave., btw. W. 25th & W. 24th Sts.) had would probably be looking for a new job, ASAP. At around 11pm on Fri., Apr. 15, an unknown individual entered the store, and started having an argument with the man, who threatened, “I’m going to shoot this place up.” The rabble-rouser was told to leave, but he didn’t respond kindly to the request, choosing instead to punch the employee in the left eye, causing bruising and swelling. Once the antagonist was finally out of the store, he found a bottle on the street, and threw it at the employee, causing even further bruising and swelling to his face. Video of this incident is available. The very next day (Sat., Apr. 16), with the same Staten Islander manning his position after nursing his injuries, another troublemaker had to be asked to leave the store by the employee at around 6:15pm. He grabbed a Snapple bottle, and once outside, threw it at the store, in the direction of the employee.
—SEAN EGAN
THE 10th PRECINCT: Located at 230 W. 20th St. (btw. Seventh & Eighth Aves.). Commander: Deputy Inspector Michele Irizarry. Main number: 212-741-8211. Community Affairs: 212-741-8226. Crime Prevention: 212-741-8226. Domestic Violence: 212-741-8216. Youth Officer: 212-741-8211. Auxiliary Coordinator: 212-924-3377. Detective Squad: 212-741-8245. The Community Council meets on the last Wed. of the month, 7 p.m., at the 10th Precinct or other locations to be announced. The next meeting is Apr. 27.
THE 13th PRECINCT: Located at 230 E. 21st St. (btw. Second & Third Aves.). Deputy Inspector: David Ehrenberg. Call 212-477-7411. Community Affairs: 212-477-7427. Crime Prevention: 212-477-7427. Domestic Violence: 212-477-3863. Youth Officer: 212-477-7411. Auxiliary Coordinator: 212-477-4380. Detective Squad: 212-477-7444. The Community Council meets on the third Tues. of the month, 6:30 p.m., at the 13th Precinct. The next meeting is May 17.
CASH FOR GUNS | $100 cash will be given (no questions asked) for each handgun, assault weapon or sawed-off shotgun, up to a maximum payment of $300. Guns are accepted at any Police Precinct, PSA or Transit District.
