Whenever my cousin Stewart was about to lose a game, he would cheat, change the rules, or turn the board over.
As I passed “Go” in Monopoly, no $200 payment for me — because I tossed the dice left-handed. Reach 15 first and beat him at a game of “horse” in basketball? Nope, you had to get to 21. Did Stewie say 21? He meant 25!
You get the idea. It was bad enough when Stewart, (or as he came to be known in the family, “Sore Loser Stewie”), was your bratty cousin. It’s worse when he’s running your city — or nation.
Mayor Bill de Blasio’s stated top priority was to get rid of the Central Park carriage horses “on day one.” Not homelessness, or other pressing issues.
Why? Because this was the pet cause of one of his major campaign contributors. But the mayor failed to convince the City Council of the need for a ban.
So he decided to take a tip from Sore Loser Stewie. If he couldn’t get rid of the carriage horses, he’d make it more difficult for tourists and others to find them. Hah! The mayor recently ordered the Department of Transportation to tear up park roadways to move the carriage horses from their traditional Central Park South location, across the street from major tourist hotels, to narrow parking lanes inside the park. That’ll show them!
Carriage horse driver and spokeswoman Christina Hansen told the New York Post one of the new parking lanes is on a dangerous incline. So much for caring about the horses’ safety.
Of course, President Donald Trump remains the king of Stewie-like petty politics.
When Congress wouldn’t agree to the $5.7 billion he demanded for his wasteful border wall, Trump declared a nonexistent “national emergency.” See, I didn’t lose, you lose!
Meanwhile, after recently losing races for governor, Republican legislators in Wisconsin and Michigan pushed through bills that would severely limit the new Democratic governor’s power. That is “a bad sign that state politics is being infected by the toxic national political environment,” professor of political science at the University of Michigan John Chamberlin told NBC News.
Sore Loser Stewie would be so proud.
Follow playwright Mike Vogel at @mikewrite7.