How ‘Gossip Girl’ would change if the NYC-set series took place today

Gossip Girl here, giving you an inside look at the lives of New York City’s elite more than a decade after we met them on The CW.

When the “Gossip Girl” series aired its first episode on Sept. 19, 2007, the anonymous blogger (voiced by Kristen Bell) was our “one and only source” into the whereabouts of Serena van der Woodsen (Blake Lively), Blair Waldorf (Leighton Meester), Chuck Bass (Ed Westwick), Nate Archibald (Chace Crawford), Jenny Humphrey (Taylor Momsen) and Dan Humphrey (Penn Badgley).

But now that the series jumped on the reboot bandwagon, it’ll look quite different today. For starters: The popular blog site will have some stiff social media competition.

A “Gossip Girl” reboot was given a 10-episode order on WarnerMedia’s upcoming streaming service HBO Max. The original series aired six seasons from 2007-2012. 

We’ve reimagined what “Gossip Girl” might look like more than a decade later, with 10 ways the series and its characters would change.

Snap Map and Find My Friends would keep track of the clique: Try getting views on your stalker blog, Gossip Girl, when your entire high school class can access their friends’ locations through the use of this decade’s cool new iPhone apps.

Dan and Jenny Humphrey wouldn’t be Brooklyn outcasts: Forget the steps of the Met. Everyone would be envious of Dan and Jenny’s loft and traveling to Brooklyn wouldn’t be such a faux pas. In fact, Nate Archibald would probably live in the outer-borough, too, and be known to have a local cold brew in hand.

Blair Waldorf and Serena van der Woodsen would be Instagram influencers: The Upper East Side princesses would still be the center of the clique (some things never change). But they’d probably be voluntarily sharing their whereabouts on social media 99 percent of the time, anyway. The socialites would be getting paid the big bucks to post a photo of themselves wearing Alice + Olivia’s latest, not that they’d need it.

And they’d probably be runway models: Think of it on a Kardashian level — Why are they famous again? Given their Instagram status, stacks of cash and inside connections, Blair and Serena would be the Kendall Jenner/Gigi Hadid duo of the fashion industry. They’d make their runway debut in Eleanor Waldorf Designs’ inaugural New York Fashion Week show. But not without one wishing the other would lose a shoe on the runway.

No one would trust the anonymous blogger: In the age of #FakeNews and the Trump administration, online news readers have put a serious spotlight on “fake” media. So sorry, Gossip Girl, but your need to keep your identity hidden might not bode well for your readers while consuming your rumors about who’s in rehab. Gossip Girl would have to come forward with his/her identity (again) as a reigning source of gossip news.

Livestreaming would quickly turn creepy: If Gossip Girl did manage to grasp a whole new audience of followers online, livestreaming would have to be in the mix. Photos of Lonely Boy pining after Serena would mesh into a Facebook or Instagram live video of their encounter. Someone standing in the shadows taking photos of the group is creepy enough as is. Livestreaming without their knowledge? Eh . . .

Chuck Bass would enter a whole new level of the dating universe: Gone are the days when the dating pool only included those who attended the same prep school or had connections to dad’s social circle. Enter, Tinder, Bumble and the whole slew of dating apps and Chuck and Blair may have had even more trouble staying together than they did in the early-2000s.

Makeovers would be a must: Jenny’s style melds more easily into a potential current-day “Gossip Girl” (just look at Taylor Swift), but the others would have to make a serious style adjustment. Blair and Serena would put away their statement-making headbands, fold down those popped collars and remove the chunky belts, opting for chokers, jackets and loose-fit dresses in shimmering neutrals. Though, Blair’s pussy-bow tops would come back in style (sort of) thanks to Melania Trump.

They’d UberX: We know most of the group would never be caught dead on the subway, but the Brooklyn dwellers and Manhattanites that didn’t have their own private limo driver (ahem, Chuck) would get around by ordering an UberX instead of calling for a cab.

Communicating with ease would cut corners on the drama: Jenny, queen of getting herself into sticky situations then texting dad and Dan ominous “help, 911” texts, would have an easier time recording a voice memo or texting out her troubles on her iPhone. So, no, a half-hour wouldn’t be spent wondering what’s up with Little J. But don’t worry, that would just free up time to fill with a whole other slew of problems.