Mystico’s Eerily Accurate Horoscopes
Aries
Like artificial sweetener, broken promises will leave a bitter taste in your mouth. An old flame provides a sympathetic ear, and some natural sugar.
Taurus
Resist the temptation to provide incorrect directions and outlandish information when a group of tourists mistakes you for a High Line volunteer.
Gemini
A reasonably priced laundromat’s Same Day Cleaning Celebration will be fraught with shoddy workmanship and missed deadlines. Do it yourself!
Cancer
You will be haunted by dreams of an innovative World’s Fair pavilion design. Don’t build it…they ain’t gonna come!
Leo
Country air exerts its will, as you experience an overwhelming desire to whisk that special someone away for a weekend of sunrise hiking, afternoon apple picking and an impulsive question popped at dusk near a covered bridge.
Virgo
Thank your lucky Mars — the red planet’s orbit shifts your intuitive powers into high gear, six days from the second time you read this.
Libra
The seed of a plan takes root this week, bearing fruit a full year from now. Trust your instincts, but don’t turn your back on them — the victory you seek will require equal parts skepticism and optimism.
Scorpio
You will experience a momentary flash of sadness after mistaking a bakery shop item for a favorite childhood sweet nobody in NY knows how to make. Snap out of it!
Sagittarius
A skateboarder’s stunning display of physical dexterity convinces you it’s time to take up juggling…again. Use this as an opportunity to build a skill while triumphing over your notoriously short attention span.
Capricorn
Somebody’s cool mom doles out a piece of advice meant for another, but custom-made for a vexing problem all your own. Take it, make it yours and send her flowers when the storm clouds clear.
Aquarius
A kind word made to the victim of a cutting remark leads to a dinner invite, during which you will discover a newfound like for that dish you’ve avoided for years.
Pisces
A sudden cramp brought on by those new shoes you’re breaking in tempts you to stop, stoop down and loosen the laces. Don’t. Doing so will cause you to miss the furtive glance of a comely admirer.
