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John Waters, from Christmas craziness to Caitlyn

waters drawing screenshot copy

INTERVIEW BY LINCOLN ANDERSON  |  Like a wayward savior for the Christmas damaged, John Waters, the legendary filmmaker (“Female Trouble,” “Hairspray,” “Serial Mom”), raconteur and author will take the stage at City Winery on Sun., Dec. 6, as part of his tour for “A John Waters Christmas: Holier and Dirtier,” his 70-minute one-man show.

Coming to town toting a bag full of sticks and stones, he’ll be spreading yuletide cheer and lunacy with his madcap rapidfire stand-up performance.

Waters a.k.a. “The People’s Pervert” a.k.a. “The Pope of Trash” acknowledges that he personally feels “Christmas crazy,” and as always, is “needy, greedy, horny for presents and filled with an unnatural desire to please.”

His “Christmas massacre” monologue asks questions like, “Is Santa erotic?” and “Are the holidays a better time for criminals?” He delves into his hatred of holiday gift cards and much, much more.

On a recent visit to New York, Waters, 69, who lives in his native Baltimore, but still keeps a place in the Village, took a moment out of his busy schedule to talk to The Villager on the phone about his show and life in general.

waters photo, by greg gorman
Photos by Greg Gorman A real stand-up guy, John Waters is interested in all kinds of extreme behavior — such as that exhibited during Christmas, for example.

VILLAGER: Can you tell us a bit about the Christmas show?

WATERS: I’m constantly putting new material in it. I change it, I’ve been memorizing it today. It’s about how to be happy at Christmas, even if you’re crazy, even if your family’s nuts, even if you don’t believe in Christmas, if you hate Christmas. Christmas brings out lunatic behavior in people, so I try to cover that and give you advice on how to survive it.

V: Sounds great! O.K., to move right to a more heavy topic, regarding the Freddie Gray shooting and riots in Baltimore earlier this year, how is that city healing? And also what do you think of Martin O’Malley, a former mayor of Baltimore and governor of Maryland, running for president?

W: Hah! You know, he’s my friend. … I thought this was about my Christmas show! … Certainly, he comes to my Christmas party every year. I hope he’s not going to be too busy on his campaign to come to my Christmas party this year. I’m a big fan of his wife. She would make an even better first lady than Bill Clinton. I’m a fan of both Hillary and the governor. So, who knows what’s going to happen.

In Baltimore, I’ve always said that the problem is that nobody explores the other neighborhoods. And that’s the issue there, that everybody should have to switch — you have to get your hair done in a different neighborhood once a year, like jury duty, and send your kid to school for a year, have a drink in a bar in the economic opposite of where you live, and I think that would turn out to help a little.

It’s tough…but Baltimore, I still love it! I have an apartment in New York. But Baltimore is the only city left where you can be a bohemian. You can in Baltimore, it’s so cheap.

V: Generally speaking, where is your apartment Downtown?

W: It’s not the East Village, it’s not the West Village — historic Greenwich Village! I’ve had this apartment since 1990.

I miss the lunch counter at Bigelow, that’s how long I’ve been coming to this neighborhood, since I was a 17-year-old runaway staying at the Hotel Earle [the current Washington Square Hotel], scariest hotel in the whole world. I remember the Women’s House of Detention. I remember the Eighth St. Bookshop.

In a way, no kid today could come and hitchhike here and wander around the Village and find a place to crash. There isn’t really a place to do that anymore — but there isn’t anywhere, except Baltimore!

V: You can buy a house for peanuts in Detroit now.

W: The problem is Detroit isn’t near anything, Baltimore is!

V: You recently said at a college graduation speech that gays shouldn’t get stuck in the “gay ghetto,” so to speak.

W: Well, I’ve always been against separatism. My gay fans don’t even get along with other gay people. They have trouble even in the gay community. … I think “gay” is not enough anymore — it’s a good start.

waters 3, by greg gorman copy

V: People say you were obsessed by things like gore and violence as a kid.

W: Well…I’m not a violent person. I don’t think I’ve ever hit anybody in my entire life. But I’m interested in extremes and behavior that I can’t understand, yes. If I wasn’t a filmmaker, I would be a defense lawyer.

V: Interesting. Where do you think that comes from in you?

W: Because I try to understand even the most depraved people. And I always am intrigued by human behavior I can’t understand. That’s what my humor is about, that’s what my Christmas show is about. ’Cause Christmas makes everyone act in a way that is not human! [laughs]

V: You have lobbied for a member of the Manson Family to get out of jail. Why?

W: That is way too complicated for a quick answer. I wrote a whole chapter in my book “Role Models” explaining why. I believe Leslie Van Houten, who after three trials was given a life sentence with the possibility of parole has served enough time — 45 years. She has an excellent prison record, looks back on her crime with shame, horror and guilt, and takes full responsibility for her part. Be glad your children never met Manson.  

V: Transgender issues are so big now…

W: Oh, I’ve done that! I’ve covered all that. To me drag kings are much more interesting. I cheer on Chelsea Manning more than Caitlyn Jenner. I’m for all of them, it’s all good. But it’s not new to me. I had a transgendered comedian in “Pink Flamingos” in 1972. It doesn’t seem new to me — suddenly it’s new everywhere. I’m all for everybody being what they want to be. But I am against why do gay people have to be so serious now? We can never make jokes? We have to give trigger warnings? Is there a gay trigger warning we have to give every time we make a comment? Every professor in rich-kid schools has to give trigger warnings, so they will not offend the feelings of the students — which I thought that’s why you went to college.

V: So, “I Am Cait,” is that interesting or not interesting to you?

W: I didn’t watch it. There’s also a porn movie out called “Caitlyn Gender,” I think that’s funny, too. He is a Republican reality star. I think Caitlyn probably has a sense of humor, hopefully. He’d have to.

And I am politically correct. I think I’m completely politically correct. Nobody ever gets mad at anything I say anymore.

Drawing by Glen Hanson
Drawing by Glen Hanson

V: When you’re back in the Village, what do you like to do?

W: This morning, I went to about seven art shows today, very quickly. I went over to Chelsea and saw a lot of new art.

V: Do you have places you like to eat, or bars you like?

W: I wish we had a real food store here. What happened to the regular A&P, where you could get not-recycled toilet paper? [laughs] I miss a general food store, everything’s so fancy. I miss A&P. I like the fancy stores, too, but I don’t buy paper towels at Whole Food. [laughs] My beef is that suppose I want just a regular jar of peanut butter? Maybe I don’t want organic paper towels.

V: Was getting kicked out of your dorm for smoking pot while you were a student at N.Y.U. actually a positive for you?

W: Well, it made me go home to Baltimore and get off my pot-smoking a– and make my second movie, “Roman Candles.” It wasn’t really N.Y.U.’s fault — I would have been thrown out of any school at that point in my life. I do chuckle when I walk by Joe Weinstein dorm. I mean, to this day, no one who has ever paid me one cent has ever asked if I had a college degree.

V: You read The Villager, right?

W: I’m a subscriber! I get 100-and-some magazines a month, but yours is the only one I get delivered to my New York apartment. All the rest come to Baltimore. I might be away for a month, and I get four of ’em at once and I read ’em, I really catch up. I think it’s a very, very good paper.

V: So, you’re really interested in local news?

W: Well, I always read the crime stories. [laughs] And you cover old bohemians and old beatniks and people that I forgot — I think, “Oh, my God, I remember that guy!” I think you really cover the history of the Village very well, too.

V: I hear you also like our sister paper Gay City News.

W: I also think Gay City News is really good, and covers the politics here in an aggressive, smart way.

I am a big fan of both those papers.

For tickets to “A John Waters Christmas,” at City Winery, at 155 Varick St., on Sun., Dec. 6, go to https://www.citywinery.com/newyork/johnwaters120615.htm or call 212-608-0555. Doors open at 6 p.m., show starts at 8 p.m. and ends at 10 p.m. V.I.P. tickets include a meet-and-greet with Waters after the show.