Koch on Film


By Ed Koch

Volume 75, Number 13 | August 17 – 23, 2005

Koch On Film

“Oyster Farmer” (+)

The characters in this Australian movie live in trailer park facilities and harvest farmed oysters.

The protagonist, Jack (Alex O’Lachlan), is employed on the river farm located in the green pastures of New South Wales on the Hawkesbury River. His boss, Brownie (David Field), is separated from his wife, Trish (Kerry Armstrong). Their relationship is a subplot. Jack robs a fish market to get cash for his sister who needs to pay for medical care as the result of an auto accident. After the robbery, he mails the money to himself which doesn’t arrive in a timely way because of an accident sustained by the postmaster. When, if ever, someone will find the lost envelope and he will receive that money is his daily concern.

The film and story line are simple in every respect; nevertheless, they hold your interest and have a soothing quality. I became emotionally involved in the daily lives of the oyster farm people. I won’t reveal too much of the story other than to say that Jack is attracted to another oyster worker, Pearl (Diana Glenn). Drunken brawls occur amongst the workers. Occasionally it was difficult to understand some of the Australian phrases and words, but not understanding a line or two did not detract from the movie’s overall charm.

“9 Songs” (-)

It is pure porn, gross, uninteresting, and utterly without mystery or vicarious pleasure.

A British glaciologist, Matt (Kieran O’Brien), and an American woman, Lisa (Margo Stilley), have sex in his London apartment morning, noon and night. Unexpectedly, the scenes shift between nine interludes of sexual acts with flashbacks both to his trip to Antarctica and a British band playing loudly and creating near hysteria amongst the spectators and dancers. It makes no sense as to what the sexual scenes have to do with the other scenes. The director, Michael Winterbottom, directed “Welcome to Sarajevo” and a host of other films.

My inquiries at the door before entering the theater produced three separate responses of “boring,” one “I don’t understand what he was trying to do,” one “Lots of sex,” and one “I liked it.” I agree with all of those spontaneous reviews except for the last one. The critics who lauded this film should have their heads and psyches professionally examined.

– Ed Koch

If you decide to see this flick, let me know by e-mail how you would have rated it. (eikoch@bryancave.com)

– Ed Koch