GRAND LARCENY: Elder theft | Manhattan District Attorney Cyrus R. Vance, Jr. announced the indictment of 47-year-old Linda Vasquez — who, between July 1 and Sept. 30, 2015, managed to steal $42,000 from her 93-year-old neighbor, a US veteran. Vasquez befriended the man, who could not leave his Chelsea home without aid, and did paperwork for him, collecting his personal information in order to make 85 unauthorized withdrawals from his checking account over that three-month period. Vasquez was caught after the man’s friend, who had power of attorney, discovered the withdrawals. She is being charged with Grand Larceny in the third degree and Identity Theft in the first. In a second, similar indictment in February, Tiffany Wright pled guilty to Grand Larceny after stealing $6,000 from a 91-year-old neighbor, by opening a joint checking account, ostensibly to help the neighbor. The Attorney General encourages anyone who suspects an elder is being taken advantage of call the Elder Abuse Hotline at 212-335-9007.
PETIT LARCENY: Still waiting for the sweet smell of justice | Authorities would do well to follow their nose with this case, as the scent of uncontrollable body odor might lead them directly to an assumedly smelly scoundrel. At around 1 p.m. on Fri., Apr. 8, an employee of Duane Reade (322 Eighth Ave., at W. 26th St.) reported that an unknown individual took 20 different units of Degree brand deodorant from a shelf, and left the store without paying for the $94 worth of merchandise. Like a good roll-on in a little black dress, the perspiring perp didn’t leave a trace, as police conducted a canvas to negative results.
HARASSMENT: Violent vendors violate visitor | On Fri., Apr. 8, an unfortunate 32-year-old New Jersey woman and her daughter got caught in the crossfire of a food fight that escalated into a hostile turf war. The sticky situation went down (as in, downhill fast) at about 1:30 p.m. on the northeast corner of 10th Ave. & W. 28th St., as the victim and her daughter were sitting on a bench, visiting a 37-year-old female friend from Queens. At this time, another woman approached the trio from a car (manned by a driver), demanding that they leave the location. In the police report, the Queens woman recounted that the suspects sell food in the area, and were upset that she herself brings delivery to her own customers in the area. Instead of accepting some healthy capitalistic competition, however, the woman from the car escalated the situation by throwing a yellow liquid at the Jerseyan and her daughter, further ordering “Don’t come back here” and going on to threaten, “If I see you, I will hit you with the car,” before driving off. While the victim and witness don’t know who the suspects are, they were able to get the license plate number of their gray Dodge Grand Caravan.
GRAND LARCENY: Help wanted…by authorities | Dressing sharply; having good references; not engaging in theft of personal property during your interview — all great tips for hopeful hires to keep in mind in this competitive job market. Apparently nobody filled one 19-year-old in when he showed up to a job interview at HK Hell’s Kitchen restaurant (523 Ninth Ave., at W. 39th St.) at 12:45 p.m. on Fri., Apr. 8, and sat down to talk to the restaurant’s 37-year-old owner. At some point during their discussion, the owner excused himself to go to his office downstairs, leaving the applicant alone, and neglecting to take his Apple MacBook. Upon returning, he found both the applicant and his $2,000 laptop gone. Video of the incident was available and provided to authorities; the prospect-turned-perp was promptly arrested.
ASSAULT: Punch buggy | At around 3:05 a.m. on Sat., Apr. 9, one man became the victim of an extremely literal hit and run. It was at that time, as he was walking back to his hotel, southbound on the eastern crosswalk of W. 42nd St., when, for reasons unclear to him, an unknown male got out of an unknown vehicle, shouting “What the f**k?” at him. The automotive agitator struck the man with a closed fist on the neck, and then hopped back in his car to flee eastbound on W. 42nd St. He left his 25-year-old victim with redness and swelling on the left side of his neck, and incredibly confused about what just transpired.
CRIMINAL MISCHIEF: Highline Ballroom blitz | While it’s far more common for lovers to simply go out dancing, jail is definitely a far more unique spot to add to the date night repertoire, as one couple discovered on Sun., Apr. 10. At about 3 a.m., the pair was reportedly throwing down way too hard at the Highline Ballroom (431 W. 16th St., btw. Ninth & 10th Aves.), recklessly pushing and shoving other patrons. Amongst the chaos, they also managed to break a pane of glass, valued at approximately $1,500. Even the appearance of police didn’t seem to slow the duo’s roll, as the 44-year-old man intentionally grasped the 32-year-old woman in order to obstruct her arrest, and resisted his own by tightening his arms and pulling away. Needless to say, they were unsuccessful in this attempt at a great escape (or just a decent one), and wound up spending an intimate evening at a far more exclusive, up-and-coming locale: The Big House.
—SEAN EGAN
THE 10th PRECINCT: Located at 230 W. 20th St. (btw. Seventh & Eighth Aves.). Commander: Deputy Inspector Michele Irizarry. Main number: 212-741-8211. Community Affairs: 212-741-8226. Crime Prevention: 212-741-8226. Domestic Violence: 212-741-8216. Youth Officer: 212-741-8211. Auxiliary Coordinator: 212-924-3377. Detective Squad: 212-741-8245. The Community Council meets on the last Wed. of the month, 7 p.m., at the 10th Precinct or other locations to be announced. The next meeting is Apr. 27.
THE 13th PRECINCT: Located at 230 E. 21st St. (btw. Second & Third Aves.). Deputy Inspector: David Ehrenberg. Call 212-477-7411. Community Affairs: 212-477-7427. Crime Prevention: 212-477-7427. Domestic Violence: 212-477-3863. Youth Officer: 212-477-7411. Auxiliary Coordinator: 212-477-4380. Detective Squad: 212-477-7444. The Community Council meets on the third Tues. of the month, 6:30 p.m., at the 13th Precinct. The next meeting is Apr. 19.
CASH FOR GUNS | $100 cash will be given (no questions asked) for each handgun, assault weapon or sawed-off shotgun, up to a maximum payment of $300. Guns are accepted at any Police Precinct, PSA or Transit District.
