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Nicknames on baseball uniforms? Uniformly dumb

To the news that many Major League Baseball players will add nicknames to their uniforms, even if just for a few days, we say: Is nothing sacred?

For all games between Aug. 25 and 27, the baseball lords somehow got the dumb idea to celebrate Players Weekend by allowing snazzy gear and nicknames rather than last names on uniforms.

But New Yorkers have another reason beyond an innate sense of style to shudder at the nickname invasion.

The New York Yankees have never included last names, let alone fake ones, on their uniforms. And instead of the traditional pinstripes at home and gray on the road, they will don navy blue pullovers. This will be a sad first for the storied franchise.

Sacre bleu!

There aren’t many certainties in life, but Yankee pinstripes are one of them. That and the connection with the past that comes from the dignity of simple numerals on those crisp home uniforms. Does a baseball fan need to know anything more than the numbers 7, 2 or 3 to recall Bronx Bomber greats?

There might be those, Mets fans included, who say baseball could lighten up a little — maybe the innovation will prompt a kid or two to find a new hero, to connect with a new generation of sluggers and slick fielders and hard-throwing pitchers. Not to mention the marketing ploy will probably sell a few more jerseys.

But even those dreamers might recoil from the sight of the particular nicknames baseball’s finest have claimed: Kiiiiid. Codylove. KB. EE (which a nit-picker might call abbreviation, not nickname). Say Hey Kid and Mr. October these are not.

All the more reason to forget this awful idea. On a uniform’s back, no need for anything but the basics.