He sees you when you’re sleeping. He knows when you’re awake. He also listens to a lot of radio while on that sled.
Once again, amNewYork has gotten its hands on the naughty-and-nice lists of Santa Claus, and cross-referenced it against the lineup of the Z100 Jingle Ball. Who’s getting the good stuff? Who’s getting socks? We’ve got the scoop:
Fetty Wap: This is partially for his string of rookie successes, and partially as a get-well-soon card; the New Jersey emcee is still trying to recover from a brutal motorcycle accident.
Calvin Harris: Even Santa is afraid of getting on the bad side of anyone associated with Taylor Swift’s “squad.” Ask Katy Perry what happens.
5 Seconds of Summer: The don’t-call-us-a-boy band will go on its second headlining world tour in 2016, right as One Direction heads into its “hiatus.” Well played, boys. Well played.
Tove Lo: Maybe if the oft-titled “Saddest Girl in Sweden” gets on the nice list, she’ll cheer up? But with catchy songs like “Habits (Stay High)” and “Talking Body,” would we want her perky?
Shawn Mendes: Your tween niece’s next crush is a guitar-playing Canadian teenager discovered online. Wait … we’ve seen this story before.
The Weeknd: “Dad, why can’t The Weeknd feel his face?” “Son, let me tell you about meth.”
Charlie Puth: Best known for the sap-rap of “See You Again,” Puth has also worked with Meghan Trainor and Lil Wayne (today’s version, not the one from 2005). Three strikes.
Fifth Harmony: A made-for-television band in the vein of One Direction, Fifth Harmony is made up of rejected parts from “The X Factor.” Can we skip to the breakup and see who gets to be the Justin Timberlake/Beyoncé of the quintet?
If you go: Z100’s Jingle Ball 2015 takes place on Friday at 7:30 pm at Madison Square Garden, 4 Penn Plaza, 212-465-6741, sold out.