Mystico’s Progress Report Horoscopes


mysticoAries  You will have a brief but torrid affair with the dead ringer for a pedestrian in an architectural rendering for a high rise yet to be built.

Taurus  Near the fenced off point where the High Line’s final section begins, you will find a self-destructing tape with instructions for your next dangerous assignment. Accept!

Gemini  Weary co-workers delight in the tale of your sexy misreading of a newly installed Muni Meter sign.

Cancer  Spring brings the promise of progress, as it heralds the chance to shed layers, nasty habits and bad attitudes.

Leo  The sight of State Senator Brad Hoylman on a Citi Bike will inspire you to reduce your own work commute’s carbon footprint.

Virgo  A strong and lasting alliance is formed upon hooking up with a likeminded soul at the next CB4 Chelsea Land Use Committee meeting.

Libra  Wrack up massive karma points by attending a community event promoted in City Councilmember Corey Johnson’s next e-newsletter. Wise Mystico subscribed by sending his request to: district3@council.nyc.gov.

Scorpio  The monthly amount of an apartment in that Affordable Housing lottery you lost is your lucky number, every Thursday in March.

Sagittarius  Take too much pleasure in those two steps back, and you’ll never get more than one step forward.

Capricorn  Rental space for your pet cause fundraiser will be paid for with a generous donation from the fine folks at Campbell’s. Man, that soup is Mmm Mmm Good!

Aquarius  A vote cast in Albany will unleash a cascade of trickle down effects upon your summer travel plans.

Pisces  A new acquaintance will engage you in a highly interpretive debate about the heights of 1 World Trade Center and the Hudson Spire.