Email not exactly the best way to cry for help on subway


Mayor Bill de Blasio is expanding his “friendly faces” neighborhood policing to the subways. Cops will be assigned to specific stations and lines, their faces, names and email addresses made public. Sounds good, but will it work in real life — and in real time?

According to the mayor, neighborhood coordination officers (NCO) will be at our beck and call should a problem arise.

But what about in a subway emergency? If the city is increasing the number of cops who patrol subway stations, that’s great, as is knowing their names and faces. But it is unclear how many more officers will patrol subway cars. That’s priority No. 1. In a crisis, will having the NCO’s email really help?

Let’s take what happened last week, when a guy sprawled across a number of seats on the A train, riders complained, and he pepper-sprayed a woman in the face.

Say your friendly NCO is nowhere in sight, and pepper-spray guy is coming down the car toward you.

I pull out my cell and frantically email.

“Hi, Officer Friendly! How R U? There’s a guy pepper-spraying people in the 3rd car of the A train at the High Street Station. If you are on this train, could you scoot over? Thanks!”

The lunatic gets closer to you, spraying away while screaming, “I’m Donald Trump!”

You email again. “Officer Friendly? The guy’s just a few feet away now, still spraying — Aggh! I canned sea! Gelp!”

What are the odds your NCO will check his in-box and get to you in time?

Wait a minute — an answer! Hard to read it with my eyes burning, but I think it says, “I will be moving shortly.”

So let’s assume emails are primarily for resolving non-crisis situations. According to NYPD Chief of Transit Edward Delatorre, “If the NCO happens to be away, on vacation, or for whatever reason, the NCOs are not available . . . we’ll make sure somebody gets back to that person on that email. In a perfect world, my vision, our vision is that you connect to the officer, you discuss the problem. If the officer can’t resolve it through email, the officer will reach out to the station manager and maybe set up a meeting.”

Feel better?

Playwright Mike Vogel’s comedy “Second Chance” is running at Seven Angels Theatre in Waterbury, Conn.