You have a right to a good night’s sleep and to relax in peace on a public beach — pretty basic, correct?
To a point.
When I visited Florida last week, two things happened that showed how far we’ve drifted from the Golden Rule: Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.
First, a dream oceanfront wedding in Ocean Ridge, Florida, turned into a nightmare when a man sunning himself wouldn’t move his chair a few feet to get out of the camera shot of the wedding party.
Jeffrey Alvord, the 27-year-old desperate groom, offered 24-year-old sunbather Trevor Mooney $20 to do so. So, of course, Mooney thought of the Golden Rule, slid over and wished the happy couple best of luck, right?
Sure he did. Sensing leverage, Mooney started negotiations, saying he might move for $30. Nah, make that $50. When Mooney rose from his beach chair in what the groom described as an “aggressive manner,” Alvord punched Mooney in the face.
When the law arrived, Mooney’s “nose appeared to be out of place, sitting more to the right of his face,” according a report in the Palm Beach Post.
Instead of being joined in holy matrimony, the groom was led away in handcuffs. Please, no marriage jokes here.
Meanwhile, up the Florida coast in Brevard County, 47-year-old Lorie Morin wanted to sleep peacefully beside her boyfriend, but his loud snoring kept her awake. This time, the boyfriend brought along breathing nose strips.
Unfortunately, that wasn’t helping. So Morin allegedly grabbed her shotgun and fired a shot into his side.
At last report, the boyfriend was in stable condition. “It’s so stupid, so bizarre, that I can’t imagine that type of behavior,” Morin’s neighbor said to WPTV Channel 5.
But hey, it’s nicknamed “Flori-duh” for a reason.
Perhaps the most publicized recent violation of the Golden Rule may be what the FBI calls Operation Varsity Blues, in which wealthy parents, including such celebrities as Lori Loughlin and Felicity Huffman, allegedly offered substantial bribes to get their undeserving, entitled children into elite colleges. Talk about desperate housewives!
You say by doing so, they’re keeping out serious, hardworking students?
Yeah, what’s your point?
Follow playwright Mike Vogel at @mikewrite7.