Mystico’s Horoscopes



Aquarius  The final ingredient of a difficult dish will come to you — in the form of a song lyric overheard while waiting in line.

Pisces  Temper your appetite for more, when a game of chance keeps going your way. 

Aries  Friends give you the star treatment, upon observing how events in your life parallel the plot of a recent box office smash.

Taurus  Your mood, this week, is like a vegetarian at a backyard barbeque: Defensive at first, but agreeably sociable when plied with strong beverages.

Gemini  Accept the offer, adaptable Gemini, when the post office mistakenly delivers a letter of invite to teach anthropology at a small rural college.

Cancer  The exotic new flavor of a popular beverage prompts you to uncharacteristic acts of binge consumption. Don’t become obsessed!

Leo  Your near miss encounter with a meteorite will imbue you with awesome super powers. Use them wisely!

Virgo  Tame your stubborn nature by swallowing a bitter pill called “pride,” whose aftertaste will be sugary sweet when Karma comes knocking.

Libra  A breeze, the trees, friends and fate occupy the tip of an iceberg that floats in a sea of things you lack the power to control or create.

Scorpio Your ability to see a troubled co-worker’s problems from all angles mushrooms into a lucrative break room counseling business.

Sagittarius  Carpets, pigs and penguins have as much chance of successfully taking flight as that FroYo franchise you keep dreaming about. The trend has peaked!

Capricorn  Stop carrying a sweater around, and accept the fact that spring has sprung. June fashion hawks squawk their loud approval for white, not wool!