IDENTITY THEFT: Lost Verizon | Last week, a W. 25th St. resident found herself on the hook for a number of unauthorized charges when the phone company came calling to collect. On Sun., Jan. 29, she reported to police that she had received a letter a few days earlier claiming she owed $793.43 to Verizon. The problem? According to the victim, she only ever held a phone account with AT&T, not Verizon. According to Verizon, however, not one, but four cellphone lines were opened up with their company, using the victim’s name and security number to set them up. The police are looking into this identity theft — a category of crime they said was on the rise (and often targeted seniors) at a Community Council meeting October of last year.
PETIT LARCENY: Mismatching miscreant | Last weekend, an unlucky Bronx resident had to schlep all the way to the NYPD’s tow pound (at W. 38th St. & 12th Ave.) to claim his car — all for an offense he was uninvolved in. On Sun., Jan. 29, the 32-year-old man reported to authorities that while he was at work the day before, he was completely unaware that some unknown person (for reasons similarly unknown) had switched the front plate on his car for a different one, causing the back and front plates to be mismatched — the infraction for which his 1998 Toyota Camry was towed to the lot, and for which he was ticketed. Police duly provided him with the proper paperwork to file the stolen tag.
PETIT LARCENY: Vespa vandal | It’s a bit surprising this thief didn’t just take the whole vehicle — though they might have just been more self-conscious than its owner about being caught riding a Vespa. On Thurs., Jan. 26, a 47-year-old man parked his scooter on the 300 block of W. 28th St. (btw. Eighth & Ninth Aves.) at 9:30am, but when he returned to that location at 7:15pm he found the vehicle in disrepair. Specifically, there were scratches on both the left and right sides of the body, and the trunk storage space had been forcibly opened. While they opted out of the ride, they helped themselves to the Bluetooth-compatible helmet therewithin anyway. No cameras were available at the location; the Origine-brand helmet was valued at $250.
PETIT LARCENY: Uber lyft | As Uber was taking a hit with the public last weekend (after an ill-advised appeal to customers during the time cabs refused to go to JFK because of Trump’s travel ban), one of its own drivers was still reeling from an unexpected setback of his own. As reported to police on Fri., Jan. 27, the driver in question recalls picking up passengers on the afternoon of Wed., Jan. 25, and driving them to the northeast corner of 11th Ave. and W. 28th St. A little while after dropping the fares off, the man realized a number of items were missing from the car. All told, the 56-year-old Bronx man lost $470 worth of stuff — a set of keys, a pair of gloves, and a pricey polo from Ralph Lauren.
ASSAULT: Scratch the punchline | Working at Gotham Comedy Club (208 W. 23rd St., btw. Seventh & Eighth Aves.) was no laughing matter for one man, after the evening of Sat., Jan. 28 took a painfully unfunny turn — and not just because Carlos Mencia was performing. At approximately 7:15pm (tellingly, just after Mencia’s set began, according to Gotham’s schedule) the 52-year-old employee got into an argument with an agitated customer. Eventually things escalated to the point where the customer lashed out at him physically, scratching at the right side of his neck and causing two lacerations. Authorities arrived shortly thereafter, and arrested the 54-year-old New Jersey man for his stand-up beat-down. Surprisingly, Mencia himself was not taken into custody despite his rampant joke theft, extensive crimes against comedy and good taste, and the inexcusable introduction of the phrase “dee dee dee” into the cultural lexicon.
—SEAN EGAN
THE 10th PRECINCT: Located at 230 W. 20th St. (btw. Seventh & Eighth Aves.). Commander: Capt. Paul Lanot. Main number: 212-741-8211. Community Affairs: 212-741-8226. Crime Prevention: 212-741-8226. Domestic Violence: 212-741-8216. Youth Officer: 212-741-8211. Auxiliary Coordinator: 212-924-3377. Detective Squad: 212-741-8245. The Community Council meets on the last Wed. of the month, 7pm, at the 10th Precinct or other locations to be announced.
MIDTOWN SOUTH PRECINCT: Located at 357 W. 35th St. (btw. Eighth & Ninth Aves.). Inspector: Russel J. Green. Call 212-239-9811. Community Affairs: 212-239-9846. Crime Prevention: 212-239-9846. Domestic Violence: 212-239-9863. Youth Officer: 212-239-9817. Auxiliary Coordinator: 212-239-9836. Detective Squad: 212-239-9856. The Community Council meets on the third Thurs. of the month, 7pm, at the New Yorker Hotel (481 Eighth Ave., btw. W. 34th & W. 35th St.). Visit midtownsouthcc.org.
THE 13th PRECINCT: Located at 230 E. 21st St. (btw. Second & Third Aves.). Deputy Inspector: Brendan Timoney. Call 212-477-7411. Community Affairs: 212-477-7427. Crime Prevention: 212-477-7427. Domestic Violence: 212-477-3863. Youth Officer: 212-477-7411. Auxiliary Coordinator: 212-477-4380. Detective Squad: 212-477-7444. The Community Council meets on the third Tues. of the month, 6:30pm, at the 13th Precinct.
CASH FOR GUNS | $100 cash will be given (no questions asked) for each handgun, assault weapon or sawed-off shotgun, up to a maximum payment of $300. Guns are accepted at any Police Precinct, PSA or Transit District.
