After the Oct. 7, 2023 terrorist attacks on Israel, Ronen and Orna Neutra spent 422 days in the dark after their son Omer, who grew up in Plainview, NY, was caught up in a tank during the horror.
The Neutras, and their son Daniel, spoke at the Marlene Meyerson JCC in Manhattan on June 1, describing their ongoing ordeal as they seek to have his remains returned.
They had seen video footage showing their son was alive during the attack, and hoped he had survived. Then came what Ronen described as the “terrible knock on the door”; the American ambassador to Israel arrived along with another official at their Plainview, NY, home on Dec. 1, 2024, bringing news they hoped they would never get.
“I saw their faces,” Ronen said. “They didn’t have to say anything.” Omer Neutra had been confirmed dead by Israeli forces.
The Neutras called their rabbi and family members so they wouldn’t hear about Omer’s loss through the news. They decided to hold a shiva in the United States and Israel as thousands arrived to share their grief.
By then, Omer had become “a symbol of hope, the heroism of a young Jewish American who fought on Oct. 7,” Ronen said.
Their personal battle
While to many the attack on Israel and war in Gaza is political, for the Neutras, as well as some other Americans, it is also highly personal.
More than 40 American citizens were killed on Oct. 7 in an attack on Israel that hit home for many Americans.
“We were in a state of shock. Everything collapsed on you,” Ronen said. “We didn’t know what’s next, and what our job would be.”
Their journey and job since then, over what they see as a humanitarian issue, has spanned trips to Israel and Washington and two American administrations and continues.
They worked with President Biden and the Biden administration and, even before taking office, President-elect Donald Trump called.
“I remember we told him, even though our son is declared deceased, we’ve got to bring him back,” Ronen said. “He said he admired what we’re doing. It’s our son. We’ve got to bring him to a proper burial.”
The Neutras have continued to speak out and speak up, fighting to bring their son back, relying on the “intelligence” that didn’t foresee Oct. 7.
Steve Witkoff was named Special Envoy to the Middle East, which the Neutras hope will be another key moment in the family’s and Omer’s journey.
“Steve lost his son, a 22-year-old, due to drug abuse,” Ronen said. “He told us, ‘I know your pain. I will bring your son back. It’s not going to be easy, but we’re going to do it.’”
Omer was born in Queens, moved to Plainview at the age of one, and attended the Solomon Schecter School, playing sports and living a quiet life.
“Somehow, he did it all. And he did it happily,” Orna said. “He was always busy.”
After being accepted to Binghamton University, he took what was designed to be a gap year and joined the Israeli Defense Forces (IDF), hoping to help and protect a country where his parents had deep roots.
“We told him, just take it day by day. We didn’t influence him to go in or not to go in,” Ronen said, noting he ended up operating a tank.
The Neutras, who worked from home after COVID, decided to travel to Israel, staying for six months before returning home.
They talked with Omer on Oct. 6, 2023, in what was an ordinary call with no signs of the storm to come.
“The night of Oct. 6, he called us. ‘Good news, all quiet. I’m told from the top it’s going to be a quiet weekend. It’s going to be a great Simchat Torah weekend,’” Ronen said. “That’s how we said goodbye.”
Tanks were going up and down the fence between Gaza and Israel, defending it against possible breaches. Omer had been working from a base nicknamed the White House.
Then came the horrific dawn of Oct. 7, 2023, when Hamas terrorists launched their assault and invasion.
‘Taken, probably alive’
The Neutras could not get hold of Omer.
“I text him on Whatsapp, ‘Omer, what’s going on?’” Ronen said after hearing news reports of attacks. “I see he’s not seeing my message. He’s not replying. They’re busy, doing their job.”
The Neutras received the first knock on the door after Oct. 7, thinking it would foretell the worst.
“We thought it was a knock on the door to tell us he died,” Ronen said. “But they told us he’s a hostage, he was taken, probably alive.”
The Neutras would later hear through the tank’s black box how two tanks headed for the border as missiles flew while Omer’s tank headed south.
“Now we know both tanks were attacked,” Ronen said. “Everybody was attacked with RPGs.”
They also learned, Ronen said, that Omer’s tank malfunctioned as the brakes jammed, slowing them down, allowing Hamas to deploy explosives on the tank, which caught fire.
“We were told pretty early on that that tank was found empty,” Ronen said. “They don’t know where the crew is. They probably were taken hostage.”
Ronen said they soon understood “we have to do something,” writing letters to US Sen. Chuck Schumer, the White House and then-Secretary of State Antony Blinken.
“Our son is probably a hostage,” Ronen paraphrased. “Letting you know, America has to do something about it.”
They met with Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin “Bibi” Netanyahu at the White House, where they told him the military advised them conditions had matured and a deal might be possible.
“Bibi answered they haven’t matured yet,” Ronen said. “They are maturing.”
Ronen said nearly 40 families are in a similar situation, and they are focusing on what they see as a humanitarian, bipartisan task.
American Edan Alexander was recently released as a gesture, and there is talk of a possible ceasefire amid some progress, pain, and postponement.
“This roller coaster of emotions, it’s really tough. It’s unbearable. It’s not human,” Ronen said. “Why don’t we stop the war and take the hostages back? If they don’t give them back, we are back to war.”
While the war drags on, the Neutras fight with words and a very public push as they continue to pursue a different hope and journey.
“We’re continuing our fight on both sides of the ocean, doing whatever we can,” Ronen said. “At the end of the day, after almost two years of war, the longest war Israel has ever had, the only solution is a political solution, some kind of agreement.”
