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Stay home on New Year's Eve: Reasons to avoid the NYC party scene

Ring in the new year in style -- by closing your windows, locking your doors and staying inside until the storm passes.

That storm we speak of is the drunken money pit that is New Year's Eve.

New York will be dirtier, more crowded and more expensive than usual. We recommend stocking up on booze (days in advance), firing up your Apple TV and starting 2017 in the best way possible -- asleep before the Times Square ball drops.

Here are some of the many, many reasons to stay inside.

Cover charges

Even your dive bar on the corner has
Photo Credit: iStock

Even your dive bar on the corner has a $45 cover charge that gets you entry into the "event" and a sip of cheap champagne. No thanks.

Expensive prix-fixe menus

Akin to Valentine's Day, New Year's Eve is
Photo Credit: iStock

Akin to Valentine's Day, New Year's Eve is the perfect night to get ripped off at a restaurant. Expect to see dishes you'd pay half the price for, if not never order at all, on prix-fixe menus that you can't escape if you want a nice restaurant meal on Dec. 31.

Basics and bros

Are the Long Island Rail Road and New
Photo Credit: iStock

Are the Long Island Rail Road and New Jersey Transit working overtime to import the basics and bros from suburbia to destroy our fine city once again? We're still recovering from SantaCon.

Desperate creeps

You know that person lurking around just hoping
Photo Credit: iStock

You know that person lurking around just hoping for a kiss, or several, at midnight? Steer clear of their territory! Oh, is that you? Definitely don't go out then.

The subways are a nightmare ...

... and there's no way you'll get a
Photo Credit: iStock

... and there's no way you'll get a cab. But you can probably get an Uber if you can afford the insane surge pricing.

The price of bubbly

Ring in the New Year without something sparkling?
Photo Credit: iStock

Ring in the New Year without something sparkling? Impossible! Restaurants mark up wines as high as 400 percent from the wholesale cost on regular menus and usually not less than 50 percent, so imagine paying double-digits to drink a $5 bottle of bodega bubbly. Alternatively, try our list of budget sparkling wines for a great night in.

Glitter

Oft referred to as the
Photo Credit: iStock

Oft referred to as the "herpes of craft supplies" (the internet decided that, not us), if you're brushing past anyone in NYC on NYE, expect a thick coating of glitter to all but ruin your winter coat. Another downside: De-glitter dry cleaning bills.

Times Square

Getting from uptown to downtown, east side to
Photo Credit: AFP / Getty Images / Kena Betancur

Getting from uptown to downtown, east side to west side, is made nearly impossible, thanks to all the chaos that is Times Square on New Year's Eve. If you're that intent on watching the ball drop at midnight, turn on your TV.

The weather outside is frightful

And there is literally nothing delightful about it.
Photo Credit: iStock

And there is literally nothing delightful about it.

It's amateur hour

Who among us hasn't seen an underage reveler
Photo Credit: iStock

Who among us hasn't seen an underage reveler who's too drunk to function by 9 p.m. on New Year's Eve? The night is bound to get messy -- and fast.

You have a lot of Netflix to watch

Your Apple TV isn't going to watch itself.
Photo Credit: iStock

Your Apple TV isn't going to watch itself.

The Routine

If you want to do The Routine, you
Photo Credit: NBC

If you want to do The Routine, you better stay home and do it privately.

The pressure is on

There's too much pressure to start the year
Photo Credit: iStock

There's too much pressure to start the year on a high note, which means everything will probably go terribly wrong.

New Year's resolutions start Jan. 1

Just think about how hard it will be
Photo Credit: Magnolia Bakery

Just think about how hard it will be to uphold your New Year's resolution of hitting the gym if you've been hitting the bottle all night.

Because you should never go out, ever, no matter what day it is

Are you new or something?
Photo Credit: iStock

Are you new or something?

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